Force the music section to dress up as Sam Sullivan for Halloween, and we reward you with a Payback Time T-shirt, two CDs off the Straight 's Top 50, and two tickets to a Live Nation club show in Vancouver within the next four weeks. Here's this week's winning whine.

Dear Payback Time: I'm not sure I understood last week's Pop Eye column. Maybe it's because I don't speak elitist douchebag. We get a list of things Mike Usinger hates: Radiohead; Folgers coffee; Stone Temple Pilots; Al Gore; and British guys listening to rap. Not a pubesworth of insight into the album, aside from his issue with encoding. His revelation of Radiohead being hip-hop fans has been well documented by Chuck Klosterman, without the holier-than-thou posturing. Give it a read, Mike, and hang your head in shame to a real music journalist.

> Kendal Philippson

Mike Usinger replies: Dearest Kendal–I read Chuck Klosterman's Sex, Drugs and Cocoa Puffs* . As if the fact that Klosterman is clearly enamoured of his own cleverness wasn't enough, the dude got into a scrote-scratching analysis of Saved By the Bell . Here's my summary of In Rainbows : "It's self-indulgent shit". If that's not a pubesworth of analysis, throw in fucking wankery made more intolerable by the whining of Thom Yorke, who looks like a mentally challenged Martin Short. Why didn't you go to the page marked "Record Reviews", where Gregory Adams revealed what he thought of In Rainbows . It's more interesting that the band fucks over fans by encoding the album at a rate well below industry standards. Folgers passes the taste test because it's a perfect white-trash breakfast with Marlboro Lights. Stone Temple Pilots blow worse than Velvet Revolver covering Buckcherry. Brits listening to rap get a thumbs up because Lady Sovereign is sexy in a stunted way, and Al Gore convinced me to put on a sweater rather than crank the heat. That lasted a week. If the planet burns, we might as well get close to the fire and fiddle. Please don't screech "This one's called 'Paranoid Android'."

Kendal Philippson takes home Feist's The Reminder and the Across the Universe soundtrack. Voice your impotent rage by snail mail or e-mail payback@straight.com .