Is that a Taser in little Miga's hand?

TASER International Inc. would like to remind potential targets - I mean, people - that only 95% of the world's stun guns are made by their company. Please use only the generic, non-bottom-line-harming "stun gun" phrase in future.

Speaking of Taser, have you been to their site lately? Have you seen their Santa banner? Forget a lump of coal. How does 100,000 volts sound to you, punk? I'm going to be having nightmares about this.

<img src="http://www.taser.com/Styles/Images/featured/c2santa_top.jpg" width="400" height="116">

This is too crazy for words. First the VANOC approves a rock monster rip-off straight from "Galaxy Quest"....whoppee do. Now they present us with a physically impossible mutation of whale and bear, a mythical creature obsessed with hockey, and a fucking endangered Van Isle marmot wearing a shit eating grin. My nephew was a pokemon fan, and those things would not make the grade as pokemon or miss kitty figurines. They're too wishy washy. They look cheap.

Ok--fine...let's have some fun with them. Me, I'm gonna buy one and put it half-in, half-out of my SUV. I'm gonna hang one in effigy in myh window overlooking the Drive. I'm gonna buy another and tie it to my ankle and drag it around to symbolize the burdon of debt the VANOC goofs are going to saddle me with when they cash in their bonus cheques, submit the over-run figures to the government, and blow town on a charter flight to the bahamas. Buy them, folks, reduce your future debt, and hang them in effigy. Better yet: shop-lift them and impale them on the wrought iron fences along 41st Ave. Buy them and give one to a street person.

Let's make up our own mascot: Dumpster Dave and his pal, Meth Annie. Both of them are gaunt, and of first nations origins. They are wearing surplus clothing and both are walking on broken snowshoes. They're both pushing shopping carts full of surplus ski-equipment. That's far more appropo, far more "us", far more realistic.

God, that's blackly funny.

The Georgia Straight does not condone in any way the shoplifting of official VANOC merchandise from the many hard-working commercial partners spreading the Olympics' capitalist message.

Thank you for your attention in this matter.

They also have more than a passing resemblance to the Beijing Olympic mascots: http://en.beijing2008.cn/spirit/beijing2008/graphic/n214068254.shtml

<strong>Vancouver - Miga</strong>
<img src="http://www.straight.com/files/images/BLO_miga.gif">
<strong>Beijing - Jingjing</strong>
<img src="/files/images/BLO_Jingjing.jpg">

Since we are located far away from Europe and will have an American audience guaranteed anyway. There is only one market to cater too during these games and these mascot things blatantly show who it is. The Asian market especially Japanese. When I first saw these characters I immediately thought they were some new Japanese cute toy craze, then I realized they were the olympic mascots.
Personally I am tired of Killer Whale toys, murals and sculptures along with the constant distortion of "Native" culture to sell something. If it is a native name you are using well why distort it to sound more Japanese. "Sumesh" becomes "Sumi". ????
The Asian market will eat this stuff up. As for me, I was tired of the olympics even before the bid was announced. This city has sold it's soul many times over regarding the Olympics. Something permanent should be done to help the homeless in BC now not spending a fortune for something temporary like a few athletes in 2010.
These mascots will only make idiots become distracted away from real issues this Province faces.

Very true. As the host city, it's up to us to show the world something entirely new, and as much as the "green Games" thing is important, there's an equally large importance to demonstrate that we know how to treat our citizens with compassion.

Especially <a href="/article-114473/un-examines-homelessness" target="_self">with the UN watching</a>

How did Quatchi manage to get the inukshuk logo tattooed on top of his fur?

And is it just me, or does he look vaguely like a Wookiee?

You think that's something, you should see Sumi's piercings under all that gear.

PS. Wookiee is right. Have you been to the site and heard him say his name?

Perhaps VANOC will create life-size costumes of the mascots and persuade the homeless to wear them in exchange for soylent green and freedom from police harassment. ;)