TOP CONCERTS

The National (At the Commodore on October 3) I'm not sure how singer Matt Berninger managed to perform at all. He seemed to be in the middle of receiving orders from the mothership while the National was on-stage at the Commodore. Somehow, despite refusing to make eye contact with any of the audience, Berninger–who kept clapping to a beat that apparently only he could hear–rallied the troops for a shockingly intense set that rocked harder than anything the National has committed to tape so far.

The Pointed Sticks (At Richard's on Richards on January 6) Normally, the only reason old punk pioneers get back together is to make you wish they'd go back to gumming Kraft Dinner in the retirement home. Spurred to reunite by a rabidly enthusiastic fan base in, all of places, Japan, the Pointed Sticks smoked through a show that left both senior citizens and Main Street hipsters wishing that the Vancouver legends had never called it a day a quarter-century ago.

The Black Lips (At Richard's on Richards on October 11) Despite all the media attention the band receives for various on-stage gross-outs (urine-swilling and power-chundering top the list), the Lips can play the shit out of their songs. Mad props to local hero Clint Lofkrantz, who filled in at the last minute when Lips' bassist Jared Swilley was denied entry into Canada. Rumour has it that Lofkrantz learned most of the band's songs just hours before showtime, which seemed to pass unnoticed as fans bopped around to the band's manic scuzz-rock set.

John Fogerty (At Deer Lake Park on August 2) Yes, the tartan-clad 62-year-old is starting to look like Leona Helmsley trapped in a centrifuge; yes, poor old Creedence Clearwater Revisted still has the better rhythm section (Kenny "Modern Drummer" Aronoff should be hole-punching sheet metal with his fists, not trying to play the cowbell in "Down on the Corner"); and yes, it felt like most of the crowd was shipped in from an especially big Rageaholics Anonymous chapter somewhere in the Okanagan. But c'mon. The dude did "Ramble Tamble" from Cosmo's Factory. Enough said.

Turbonegro (At the Commodore on October 11) Dear Euroboy: You are one of the most underrated guitarists of our time. Please come back soon. With love, the Straight. P.S. Make sure that lyrical genius of yours (aka bassist Happy-Tom) brings his "Dick doesn't suck itself" T-shirt. We love literary giants here in Van City.

TOP PLEASANT SURPRISES

Chemical Brothers We Are the Night The Chemmies continue to push electronica in exotic new directions, doubly impressive considering everyone who ever cracked a glow stick to "Block Rockin' Beats" is currently loading Huggies into the Dodge minivan at Costco.

Bruce Springsteen Magic There's never been a more embarrassing time to be an aging rock star, what with Mick Jagger releasing a greatest solo hits album. (Um”¦ what hits?) So expectations were low here, but with this recording, the Boss proves he's not about to start shooting blanks anytime soon.

Willie Nelson, Merle Haggard, Ray Price Last of the Breed Although you can't bash the Hag, Willie's quality control department hasn't exactly been working overtime for the last decade or two. But Last of the Breed–a perfectly paced collection featuring crisp playing, knowing song choices, and a fine new Nelson original–is a knockout that falls on the right side of sentimental. The most pleasant surprise is that 80-year-old Ray Price is in such fine voice, as most guys his age are shooing flies that aren't there, having rambling global-warming debates with plastic garden gnomes, and dumping their Depends.

The Good, the Bad & the Queen The Good, the Bad & the Queen With Blur's Damon Albarn, the Verve's Simon Tong, and the Clash's Paul Simonon involved, this vanity project screamed "too many cooks". Fortunately, the wonderfully understated The Good, the Bad & the Queen neither sullies the name of the band's members nor invokes the ghosts of the groups that made them famous.

The Evaporators Gassy Jack and Other Tales Sure, Nardwuar the Human Serviette is a world-class goofball, but the mulleted pest has grown into a talented songwriter with a solid grasp of garage-pop hooks. Who else could have come up with a rhyme as brilliant as "My balls are stuck to a bench/My mind can't stand the stench"?

TOP DISAPPOINTMENTS

The Stooges The Weirdness Amazing for one reason: that notoriously misanthropic producer Steve Albini didn't stop recording The Weirdness in mid-session to tell the Stooges that they were stinking worse than the Annacis Island outflow pipe in high summer.

Kid Rock Rock N Roll Jesus It's never a good sign when the title is the best thing about an album.

Rilo Kiley Under the Blacklight With indie-rock superstardom officially within its grasp, Rilo Kiley went the grotesquely slick route, making for a record that was more charmless than an on-the-rag Avril Lavigne.

The Kaiser Chiefs Yours Truly, Angry Mob When this shark sandwich of a record, and its crapacious single, "Ruby", went to No. 1 in the U.K., all those articles about Britain's binge-drinking problem started to make sense.

Arcade Fire Neon Bible Isn't it bad enough that we had to suffer an actual Bruce Springsteen record this year? Did we really need a watered-down imitation as well? And didn't the Killers do this shit already?

TOP SINGLES

Nine Inch Nails "Survivalism" It's about goddamn time Trent Reznor came up with something as good as this buzz-and-clank vision of a dystopian near-future, which has us cowering beneath an overturned sofa with a flashlight, a kitchen knife, and a half-eaten box of Triscuits.

Queens of the Stone Age "Make It Wit Chu" Ninety-nine times out of a hundred, stoner rock is about as sexy as the idea of Bea Arthur doing Donald Trump with a 10-inch strap-on. Double props then to Joshua Homme for not only rescuing "Make It Wit Chu" from his Desert Sessions back catalogue, but reworking it as slinky panty-removal music fit for that filthy little pervert Prince.

Fall Out Boy "This Ain't a Scene, It's an Arms Race" Pete Wentz's dink; Pete Wentz's girly hips; Pete Wentz, period. Now that we have all that out of the way, FOB really proved itself this year with Infinity on High, and especially this white-punks-on-dance crossover smash. Perhaps a little too Fall Out Boyzone for some, but only an emo-army deserter could resist the song's monster chorus.

The Bees "Listening Man" This Bees single was criminally underplayed on this side of the pond, meaning North America lost out on a delightful soul-reggae tune that could have appeared in a 1960s Trojan Records boxed set. As an added bonus, "Listening Man" also drove home the point that Bedouin Soundclash is just the latest in a long list of reasons to thank Jesus H. Christ we're not from that stink hole known as Toronto.

Pride Tiger "The Lucky Ones" It's hard to imagine how the Fox ever met its CanCon quota before this insanely catchy party anthem. Viva le East Van!

GUILTY PLEASURES

Rihanna "Shut Up and Drive" Such a perfect blast of urban garage-pop that you can imagine David Suzuki screaming down the I-5 behind the wheel of a fossil-fuel–sucking Hummer, a shit-eating grin on his face as he screeches along to every word.

Toby Keith "High Maintenance Woman" Popping a couple of Atavan and whackin' it to Amy Winehouse's "Rehab" video is the real top guilty pleasure of '07, but in the interests of decency, here's a little shout-out to Toby Keith. The hunk that stunk can write a mean country tune when he isn't talking out of his ass on behalf of the U.S. Department of Defense, and "High Maintenance Woman" has a definite knuckleheaded charm–even if you wouldn't want to be caught enjoying it.

Lil Mama "Lip Gloss" Name-checking both L'Oréal and MAC, "Lip Gloss" was the most nakedly capitalist song to hit the charts since Nelly's "Air Force Ones", but its infectious hook made it easy to forget you were listening to a makeup jingle. Added props go to Lil Mama for shooting the song's video while clearly suffering from a King Kong–sized case of crabs. Either that, or she's currently working on a "Lip Gloss" follow-up called "Vagisil Medicated Anti-Itch Wipes".

Eddie Vedder "Hard Sun" How in the hell did that overemoting turd from Pearl Jam turn a largely forgotten slice of '80s CanCon (does anyone remember Indio?) into an achingly beautiful meditation on humanity's relationship with the natural world?

Rihanna "Umbrella" Yes, it's her again. When she opened for Black Eyed Peas last year, it was painfully obviously the Barbadian babe wasn't signed for her ability to carry a tune. Thankfully, Jay-Z knows how to turn tone-deaf beauties into record-selling gold. Too bad he can't change the fact that, on-stage, Rihanna is about as much fun to watch as your alcoholic Aunt Myrtle right before she passes out from her fifth Manhattan.

QUOTES

"[Los Angeles aural terrorist] John [Wiese] plays really crazy, experimental noise music. He's like a loud, crazy, experimental wizard. This is really embarrassing, but we went to this one concert, and whatever it was that John was doing, it totally sounded like a nuclear bomb going off. And what that did was made us have diarrhea. That's the kind of music that me and my friends were into."

- My Lavender Diamond's Becky Stark

"There will be fresh cock. There will be stale old cock. Cocks will be a-flying in every direction, I can assure you. It will be a veritable sausage fest–I guarantee it."

> Jack Black, on what people can expect from a Tenacious D show

"As soon as we got there, this kind of drunken, falling-down guy came and introduced himself to us. We just kind of assumed that if a guy's coming and introducing himself to us as soon as we get out of the car, he's the promoter or the club owner. But he was just a random drunk guy on the street, who then kind of led us around, bought all our records off of us, and tried to get us to come home with him. It was just all very, very weird."

> Alasdair MacLean, on the Clientele's first Vancouver gig, at Pat's Pub in 2006

"We quit doing that a while ago, after the Great White thing. We had to. First of all, club owners were like 'No way.' There were actually a couple of incidents where I almost lit the club on fire. Like, I lit my hands on fire in Liverpool and then I dropped the bottle of lighter fluid behind a drum monitor that I couldn't access, and I saw the flames rising. I ended up pouring a pitcher of beer on it, but it was pretty frightening."

> Trans Am's Philip Manley, on the band's decision to stop playing with fire

"There are definitely a lot of stories out there about us. But at the same time we're trying not to do that stuff now so we aren't seen as a one-trick pony like GG Allin or GWAR. Sometimes people will see us and go, 'Why didn't you throw up?' It's like, 'I didn't throw up because I didn't have to.' That's a bodily function that only occurs when necessary."

> The Black Lips' Cole Alexander, on his band's reputation for pissing and puking on-stage