*With contributions from Lucas Aykroyd, John Lucas, Miles Keir, Sarah Haydahl, Jon Cranny, and Christopher Chen.*

Not everyone’s a poet. But unfortunately not everyone knows it.

Some of the songs we remember the most have lyrics that are transparent excuses for the sake of a rhyme.

There are silly lyrics, but then there are lyrics that you can tell they were struggling to find a word to rhyme with and forced in a word that makes no sense. You know, the kind of lyrics that you're singing along to and suddenly make you go "WTF?"

You can almost hear them scrambling to find a word that rhymes with what they have. Sometimes they're so desperate, they rhyme the word with the same word!

Here are some of the weakest excuses for a rhyme that GS staff hauled out of our collective lyrical memory:

a-ha's "Touchy"

Me, I'm touchy
touchy touchy you
me, I'm touchy
and you know what to do

ABBA's "Does Your Mother Know"

Well, I can dance with you, honey
If you think it's funny
Does your mother know that you're out?
And I can chat with you, baby
Girl, a little, maybe
Does your mother know that you're out?

Ace of Base's "The Sign"

I saw the sign and it opened up my eyes
I saw the sign
Life is demanding without understanding

Alanis' "Too Hot"

Always too hot never too cold
You make your best shot too hot to hold
Never too young Never too old
You gotta go for gold

Bananarama's "Look on the Floor"

Look on the floor
And all is spinning round
Someone told me this was just a dance
And take a chance
And I'll give you more
Do you really think we have a chance

Beastie Boys' "Pass the Mic"

Everybody's rapping like it's a commercial
Actin' like life is a big commercial

Bon Jovi's "Breakout"

This time, girl, I've had enough
You're too hot to handle with kid gloves

Sonny Bono's "The Beat Goes On"

And men still keep on marching off to war
Electrically they keep a baseball score

Debbie Gibson's "Electric Youth"

[This doesn't rhyme, but it's just so convoluted that it merited inclusion.]

Electric Youth
Feel the power, you see the energy
Comin' up
Coming on strong
The future only belongs
to the future itself/in the hands of itself
and the future is
Electric Youth
It's true you can't fight it
Live by it
the next generation...
it's electric

Avril Lavigne's “Sk8ter Boi”

He was a punk, she did ballet
What more can I say?

But all of her friends stuck up their nose
they had a problem with his baggy clothes.

He was a skater boy,
she said see ya later boy

Madonna's "American Life"

I drive a Mini Cooper, I'm feeling super duper

I hope you understand my extreme point of view
I'm not a Christian and I'm not a Jew

Madonna's "Like a Prayer"

Life is a mystery, everyone must stand alone.
I hear you call my name and it feels like home.

I'm down on my knees, I wanna take you there.
In the midnight hour, I can feel your power.
Just like a prayer, you know I'll take you there

Madonna's "Mother and Father"

My father had to go to work
I used to think he was a jerk

Martika's "Colored Kisses"

The red, blue, yellow, green, black, and white
All the colors unite!

[Black and white aren't colors]

Nada Surf's "Blizzard of '77"

That's why i sharpen all the others a lot
It's like flowers or ladybugs
Pretty weeds or red beetles with dots

[Aren't red beetles with dots called ladybugs?] 

New Order's "The Perfect Kiss"

Tonight I should have stayed at home,
Playing with my pleasure zone

Queen Latifah's "Fly Girl"

Easy lover is something that I ain't
Besides, I don't know you from a can of paint

Roxette's "Crash! Boom! Bang!"

Crash! Boom! Bang!
That's my real middle-name
It has always been the same
That's the call, that's the game and the pain stays the same.

Savage Garden's "I Want You"

[Another one that doesn't rhyme but is just so nonsensical (and not even in a poetic way) that it had to be included]

And I am taken to a place
Where your crystal mind
and magenta feelings
Take up shelter in the base of my spine
Sweet like a chica cherry cola

Using symbols, using words can be likened
To a deep sea diver who is
swimming with a raincoat

Donna Summer's "MacArthur Park"

MacArthur's Park
is melting in the dark
All the sweet, green icing flowing down...
Someone left the cake out in the rain
I don't think that I can take it
'cause it took so long to bake it
And I'll never have that recipe again
Oh, no!

Kanye West's "Stronger"

So we gonna do everything that Kan like
Heard they'd do anything for a Klondike
Well I'd do anything for a blonde-dike

Snap!'s "Rhythm is a Dancer"

I'm serious as cancer
when I say
rhythm is a dancer!

Sunscreem's "Love U More"

You can make the sun turn purple
You can make the sea turn turtle
But you know you can never make me love you more

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Have any to add? Well, don't just stand there, let's get to it, strike a pose, there's nothing to it, and post them!