Ever try to meet people in Vancouver? You’ll have better luck springing Britney from the rubber room than you will convincing someone to talk to you in a bar. So there you stand, wondering, “Who are all these people I see every time I go to a show?” You’re too shy to ask, so we do it for you.

Who are you? “I am Michelle, and I’m freaking awesome. Anyone that knows me will tell you that.”

In my 9-to-5 life I’m a: “Student studying to become an optician, and on the weekends I work as a receptionist. Lame, I know.”

If you’re buying, I’ll have: “Stella Artois, please. Or a Guinness. Actually, any beer from Europe will do. North American beer is terrible! That includes Canadian beer.”

The best show I ever saw was: “I don’t know. I haven’t really seen any bad shows, but the best show I’ve seen in the past couple of months was M.I.A. at the Commodore. That was awesome. You can totally tell she loves what she does and puts on a hella entertaining show. Plus, you should see her dance! It’s intense.”

I wish people would shut up about: “Scene kids. I hate them and their fluorescent-coloured eye shadow, tight pants, their haircuts, and the music they listen to. The music starts off as a somewhat decent metal song, then turns into a freakin’ pop-punk song during the chorus. Lame! To top it all off, they hang out in big groups downtown and at Metrotown and act like they are 12 years old, when they are in fact 21.”

The last concert T-shirt I bought was: “I don’t really like buying concert T-shirts because it’s guaranteed that at least 50 other people will have that shirt, and you are bound to see someone wear the same one at another concert, at the mall, or even at school. But the last concert shirt I bought was a Broadway Calls shirt from when they were here at the beginning of January. They were just so good live I had to buy a shirt. Plus, there were dinosaurs on it and I couldn’t resist.”

In the movie of my life, I'd be played by: “Chloí« Sevigny, because she can tackle all those goofy, obscure roles, which is exactly how my life is right now. I can just picture it—she would win her first Oscar playing me in The Michelle Swami Story.”

Werd to the weird: “I like to admit I’m weird, but when someone else is like, ”˜Oh yeah, you’re weird,’ I freak out and tell them, ”˜Hey, I’m not weird! I’m normal!’ But yeah, I’m pretty weird. I walk a bit funny, I say really stupid things, I talk really loudly, wear different clothes, make crazy faces for no reason, and so on. No matter how normal I try to be I’ll always be weird, and I’m okay with it. Unless someone else calls me weird.”