Starring Jason Statham and Saffron Burrows. Rated 14A. Opens Friday, March 7, at the Cinemark Tinseltown

Set in the swinging London of 1971, The Bank Job concerns a gang of amateur thieves who tunnel into a room full of safety deposit boxes from a nearby handbag shop. Led by a shady Cockney car salesman named Terry (Jason Statham of Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels and Snatch), the lovable lowlifes include a part-time porn actor (Daniel Mays) and a leggy ex-fashion model who sweet-talks Terry into the deal (Boston Legal’s Saffron Burrows). The tunnel-into-a-bank hook has long been employed to good comic effect in everything from vintage Damon Runyon to Woody Allen’s Small Time Crooks. But don’t expect many laughs here. Although our robbers manage to escape with more than four million dollars in loot, things get serious quicker than a speeding Austin Mini.

Aiming somewhere between the retro cool of Get Carter and early Guy Ritchie, The Bank Job is loosely based on an actual British robbery. Just how loosely is anybody’s guess. The far-fetched plot hinges on the fact that our robbers have inadvertently stolen a bunch of stuff that’s much hotter than your typical swag, including kinky shots of several important politicians. To cap things off, our gang also possesses an account book belonging to a local smut peddler (David Suchet, who looks about as menacing as a retired real-estate agent). The book, which chronicles various payoffs to corrupt police officers, has certain cops very nervous.

Soon the robbers are being pursued by law enforcement, gangsters, and high-level troubleshooters for the crown. The fun is supposed to be in watching the increasingly frantic Terry bargain his way out of a mess that could easily get him killed. But even though director Roger Donaldson keeps things from getting too confusing, The Bank Job comes across as dated, familiar, and a bit too silly. These days, nobody bothers to get violent about the sexual secrets of royalty. Everybody’s too busy trying to sign a book deal.