Starring Keanu Reeves and Forest Whitaker. Rated 18A.

Street Kings is about a band of rogue cops in the LAPD who blow away really bad dudes while ignoring due process. Led by their corrupt commander (Forest Whitaker), they like to think of themselves as urban gunfighters. They all drink heavily, especially head gunfighter Tom Ludlow (Keanu Reeves). And, like everyone on the team, Tom can’t resist doughnuts.

Okay, so you never actually see anyone scarfing down a pastry. But director David Ayer seems to subscribe to the theory that nothing says raging cop like an expanded waistline. Only the semi-good guys get to be thin. Hugh Laurie, who plays a cop from internal affairs hot on Ludlow’s trail, is downright svelte. His punishment for staying skinny? He gets to shout lines like: “Doesn’t it bother you that there are two cop killers out there? Living! Laughing! Fucking!”

There’s plenty more overripe dialogue, courtesy of coscreenwriter James Ellroy, who was obviously given free reign in adapting his original story. Even Oscar-winner Whitaker can’t help chewing the scenery.

Don’t look for the cookie-cutter plot to provide any subtlety. Despite Ellroy’s attempts to fake us out with a few twists, the only person who can’t see what’s happening from a mile away is poor, dumb Tom. For such a hefty cast, none of this seems worth the trouble it takes to let out a pair of pants. But then, landing another job on the strength of this mess seems unlikely. So they’ll probably have plenty of leisure time for the gym.