Starring Sam Huntington, Chris Marquette, and Jay Baruchel. Rated PG. Opens Friday, April 3.

Are you a fanboy? Do you dress up every Halloween as an Imperial Stormtrooper or Darth Vader or Chewbacca and then notice you never get chicks? Do you dress up as any of the above when it isn’t Halloween? Do you refer to your right hand as “Leia” because you can’t get chicks? Congratulations: “yes” answers make you a bona fide Star Wars fanboy—and a lifetime virgin.

Fanboys’ four geeks would likely have sex with a Yoda handpuppet. It’s 1998, and these Ohio men-children—two are comic-shop employees, one’s working at his father’s car dealership, one’s dying of cancer (meaning he occasionally looks sweaty)—have a Wookiee, I mean woody, to see Star Wars: Episode 1—The Phantom Menace before it opens. The plan? Steal a print from George Lucas’s Skywalker Ranch in California. Jump to light speed, Chewy, and crank the Rush.

Road-trip encounters—with cops, hookers, gay bikers—are mildly funny, mostly forgettable. More stupidly amusing, if ultimately squandered, are the Star Wars dudes’ (indistinct Sam Huntington, Chris Marquette, Dan Fogler, and Jay Baruchel) skirmishes with equally infantile Star Trek conventioneers, aka Trekkies. Jokes about “the Captain’s log”, anyone?

Attention whore William Shatner himself materializes. Plus, director Kyle Newman and screenwriters Ernest Cline and Adam F. Goldberg deliver more geek love: Billy Dee Williams plays a judge named Judge Reinhold, and cigarette-raspy Carrie Fisher, playing a doctor, will probably still get fanboys Kleenexing off their lightsabers. And only they will spot stuntman Ray Park, Phantom Menace’s Darth Maul.

And only fanboys will really care. Or maybe they would have several years ago, when this film was supposed to arrive. Now it’s Judd Apatow’s world, and amiable, idiocy-endorsing Fanboys feels galactically far, far away.