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PrintJessica Cooper: As a transsexual person, I have no rights
By Jessica Cooper
I have no rights. I have no right to freedom from discrimination. I have no right to secure employment. I have no right to a safe place to live. I don’t even have the right to go to the washroom in peace. It’s amazing that I can sit here in the 21st century, in Canada, and be able to say that.
Let me say that again slightly differently: Because I’m a transsexual person, I have no right to legal protection in case I get discriminated against for being trans. None at all. How does this happen? It happens because transsexuals are one of the last populations not covered under Canada’s (not to say anything about British Columbia’s) human-rights legislation.
Because of this lack, Vancouver Rape Relief and Women’s Shelter was able to exclude Kimberly Nixon simply because she was assigned male at birth. This case was taken all the way to the Supreme Court of Canada, where on February 1, 2007, the cisgendered (the opposite of transgendered) judges decided to leave transpeople in legal limbo. They decided that Kimberly is not enough of a woman to be allowed to work at a women’s shelter. Because of this decision, my brothers, sisters, and I can be kicked out of any public space, we can be fired simply for the crime of being ourselves, we can be evicted without recourse, and we can be reviled, harassed, and even physically attacked merely for daring to use a public washroom.
Granted, few of these things have happened to me because I’m one of the lucky ones. I’m just another middle-aged woman. I blend in well enough that on most days the very worst that will happen to me is someone will get a puzzled look on their face as they try and fit me into one of two mental boxes in their head marked “male” or “female”. Some of my brothers and especially sisters are not so lucky. They don’t “pass”. They visibly bend the boundaries of gendered expression, which threatens the identities of cisgendered people. Threatened people tend to react violently. They may attack, verbally or physically. They may withhold essential services.
Tyra Hunter was a transwoman in Washington, D.C., who in 1995 was allowed to bleed to death by emergency workers, who stopped treating her after discovering she was trans and stood back cracking jokes while she bled and suffered in front of them. Later after finally being transported to a hospital, she was left to die, having received almost no care. None of the emergency workers and hospital staff who stood back and let her die were ever disciplined.
Threatened employers may choose to fire a transperson rather than be forced to work with them. Threatened landlords may decide to evict a transperson. Even the most fundamental portion of my identity is not mine to control; anyone at any time may choose to deny my identity and impose their own perceptions upon me. It happens every time I get called “sir”.
This has implications that go far beyond the boundaries of the trans community. How many butch lesbians have been asked to leave a washroom? How many gay males were bullied in school for being “a sissy”? How many times has a homophobic act really been motivated by the transgression of gender norms? Transgressing gender norms is one of the severest social “crimes”, and the punishment is swift and brutal. Right now, all of what I have listed above is legal. Anyone can do any of these horrible things and get away with it.
Transpeople are treated equally brutally by the media. It’s still socially acceptable to laugh at us, label us deceivers, hyper-sexualize us, and make our struggles with our bodies the sole factor of our existence. Look at the characters of Dil in The Crying Game, Lois Einhorn in Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, Roberta Muldoon in The World According to Garp. Look at the controversy surrounding Isis on America’s Next Top Model, and the sordid mess that was There’s Something About Miriam. The media teaches that treating transsexuals badly is okay, that we’re not “real” enough to warrant compassion and decent treatment.
This situation is intolerable, and it must not be allowed to continue. All is not bleak, however; a solution is being worked toward. Last summer, B.C.’s Trans Alliance Society began circulating a petition asking the legislature to amend the B.C. Human Rights Code “so as to include and to specify ‘gender identity and gender expression’ as a prohibited ground of discrimination for all purposes of that legislation in British Columbia”.
I have no rights. So, how about it, Gordon Campbell, may I have my rights?
Jessica Cooper is just another middle-aged woman with a colourful past. She works for a national retail chain designing department stores, and when she’s not doing that she’s fighting for the right of transpeople to be themselves with dignity. She encourages anyone (trans or cisgendered) who wishes to fight beside her to contact the Trans Alliance Society.
Comments
But you already know I'm on your side. Thanks for writing this.
-mental hug-
I hope that someday soon this injustice will be addressed.
I would like to correct the inaccurate account and portrayal of Vancouver Rape Relief and Women’s Shelter. First Vancouver Rape Relief and Women’s Shelter was one of the first equality seeking groups that argued to the BC government that transsexuals be included in the human rights code.
Second, Ms Cooper’s assertion that because of the decision made by the Canadian courts in favor of Vancouver Rape Relief and Women’s Shelter that “, my brothers, sisters and I can be kicked out of any public space, we can be fired simply for the crime of being ourselves, we can be evicted without recourse and we can be reviled, harassed and physically attacked merely for daring to use a public washroom” is untrue and inaccurate in terms of existing human rights law. While I can empathize with her frustration about society’s prejudices they are not the result of the case brought against us or our actions. The decision that came down meant that women’s groups such as Vancouver Rape Relief and indeed groups of transsexual and transgendered persons have the legal right to determine their own membership. In addition we believe it is important for raped and battered women to have the choice of a women-only peer group for support. Here is a more accurate description of the decision made in this case:
“The Human Rights Tribunal had previously ruled that Rape Relief’s decision to allow into the training program only women who had been born and raised as girls and women was rationally connected to Rape Relief’s work of counseling women victims of sexual assault and fighting male violence and women’s inequality. The Tribunal also held that that Rape Relief’s decision was made in good faith.”
Summary of Decision: Provided by: Gwendoline Allison, Bull, Housser & Tupper LLP and Professor Christine Boyle, University of British Columbia School of Law. http://www.rapereliefshelter.bc.ca/issues/pr_feb12007_ruling.html
Both the writer and the Georgia Straight should be more careful in checking the accuracy of comments. This would not be hard to do since we have always been clear and transparent in our case and a timeline of the case, court transcripts and a summary of the decision can all be found on our website http://www.rapereliefshelter.bc.ca/issues/index.html#womenonly
Inaccurate and misleading comments undermine the important work we do.
Vancouver Rape Relief shelters houses over 100 women each year along with 70-80 of the battered women’s children. Each year the 24-hour rape crisis line receives new calls from 1,300-1,400 women dealing with rape, sexual assault, incest, battering and sexual harassment.
Daisy Kler
Vancouver Rape Relief and Women’s Shelter
I freely admit that Rape Relief provides a vital service. However it is a discriminatory service, it always has been a discriminatory service, and your very words here show me that it will always continue to be a discriminatory service until such discrimination is made illegal. If you were truly interested in eliminating such discrimination, we would not be needing to ask for this legislation and you would not need to go to such effort to defend your indefensible position.
In your efforts to "clarify" and undermine, you make my point far better than I did. I judge this an “own goal”; your spin attempt scored for me, not for you. Thank you for arguing my point.
[1]”Woman born woman” are the Radical Feminists' code words for “transwomen are really men therefore they must be treated that way. We can legally exclude them from womens' space without penalty.”.
"In addition we believe it is important for raped and battered women to have the choice of a women-only peer group for support."
*some* raped and battered women. *some*. The message for trans women like myself is loud and clear - if we're attacked physically or sexually, we're on our own.
We'll be raped as women, spat on as women, harassed as women, and we aren't allowed to help other women.
But other than that, no discrimination at all.
You don't consider us women. You consider us something else at best. That's called discrimination; if you don't understand the word, maybe you shouldn't be talking about the topic so much.
So, Daisy, by these very words it seems that you are asserting that transwomen are not women.
This is a very cis privileged and discriminatory stance. Transwomen are women and deserve the very same protections in law and access to support services that cis women have.
as long as Vancouver Rape Relief excludes trans women, you can't rightly call your policy "women only." I suggest "Some Women Only."
Also, when will VRR stop hosting anti-trans hate speech on its website? Why is it so important to maintain a webspace with numerous articles claiming that trans women are horrible invaders seeking to destroy women-only space? What is your motivation for this kind of activity?
The fact is that whatever you may claim that VRR agitated for, what you actually did was work very hard to exclude trans women from your services.
Here's a synopsis of my post: feminism and trans-activism are two sides of the same coin: both believe that people are more than our genitals; that biology isn't destiny. And this alliance works!
My original plan was to build an article around this without reference to Rape-Relief, but it looks like the topic has already been broached. Taking a look at Ms. Kler's objections and comparing them to online copies of judgements, I found discrepancies between the two. And these discrepancies serve to illustrate how anti-trans discrimination *devalues* feminist activism.
In the first petition of RR vs. Ms Nixon (where the judge ruled in favour of Ms. Nixon)
Then they appealed it on the grounds that they should be (1) able to define "woman" for themselves, nondiscrimnation statutes notwithstanding - thus opening the way for women's or men's organizations to discriminate along any lines they choose. This precedent frightens me, not least becaue it reminds me of all the women's organiations in my mother's generation which excluded women for being homosexual, bisexual, or being working-class.
Rape Relief further argued that denying someone a volunteer position was not sufficiently awful to count as legal discrimination - setting a precedent that you can discriminate in hiring, as long as it's not for something lucrative. And they won. See link:
These arguments frighten me. As a queer, butch woman, I am subject to other people's opinion of whether I'm really a woman every time I try to use a public washroom or apply for a paid or unpaid position. And these legal precedents don't help. Fortunately, most feminists are aghast at the lack of foresight shown by Rape Relief, and they're the ones I can count on to back me up.
And so I know what I want to see. I want to see the growing majority of women's organizations that include *all* women continue to grow. Every time I go to a women's organization for *all* women, I see transsexual women contributing there. I see that they are proud to finally be able to contribute to women's communites as women. And I see trans organizations that could not have got off the ground were it not for feminist support. And everyone benefits for it.
Yes, Rape Relief provides many (until recently, government-subsidized) services. The same can be said of many other charities who don't like queers (and who also won't mention it when they ask you for money or time), and it doesn't make me like them any better. Yet, for every phobic organization, there are many other organizations that get on just as well, providing the same services, without caring about babyhood genitals or which genders you sleep with. It makes me ask - if inclusive organizations can do everything a phobic organization can do, and they can do it without advancing discrimination, what's all the fuss about? We've proven that we can fix the world together - so why don't we?
And so I like the inclusive organizations better. I give them my time. I trust that their ethic of compassion and sisterhood will triumph over one of erecting walls to keep out whomever's different. And I see this sea change playing out, much to women's benefit. I see the bonds of gender stereotypes eroding from both ends of a strong alliance. I only hope that the future holds more of it.
Amy Fox
For a *very short* list of regional trans-friendly women's organizations, click here
http://www.transalliancesociety.org/members.html
There are a lot more out there. These are just the tip of the iceberg.
Here is the ruling on the first petition (from 2000)
http://www.courts.gov.bc.ca/jdb-txt/sc/00/08/s00-0889.htm
And on the second (from 2003)
http://www.courts.gov.bc.ca/jdb-txt/sc/03/19/2003bcsc1936.htm
I was very sorry to read of the prejudices and lack of rights Ms. Cooper and all transsexuals must endure. It was a brave and candid article. I greatly appreciate Ms. Cooper sharing her experiences in this way. I am concerned, however, that Vancouver Rape Relief and Women's Shelter was referred to out of context and I would like to offer readers another point of view.
Vancouver Rape Relief is an all-female space for women who have experienced male violence. This does not mean the organization is anti-men or anti-transsexual, it just fills a need for women seeking relief who feel they would heal best and are most comfortable in a women-only environment. Vancouver Rape Relief works with many other organizations and supports the objectives of shelters and crisis centres that do not have an all-female policy.
I would urge everyone to read up on Ms. Nixon's case (the Vancouver Rape Relief website is a good start:
www.rapereliefshelter.bc.ca/issues/pr_feb12007_ruling.html) before passing judgment against Vancouver Rape Relief. Equality for everyone, no matter your gender, is in everyone's best interest. We're all in this together!
Sheila Ballantyne
You said everything Daisy Kler did above and you prove my point just as she did. You say "all female space". You say "woman only environment". You say "all female policy" Therefore you must consider me to be other than a woman. I can draw no other conclusion than that you are anti-trans or else you and your colleagues would not need to work so hard at defending your indefensible position. How do you expect me to believe that you are not anti trans when you turn around and in the VERY NEXT PHRASE prove that you are?
Go ahead, prove me wrong. I dare you. Take down your anti-trans hate speech on your website, allow transwomen to volunteer at Rape Relief and allow transwomen to be counselled. I'm waiting...
Once again your Rape Relief's attempt to deflect from the subject fails. You discriminate and the Supreme Court allowed you (and by that precedent anyone else using your argument) to discriminate. Your rights trump mine. My original point is made yet again. You are "very sorry to read of the prejudices I endure" yet you are not so very quick to do your part in ending them, are you?
Meanwhile, readers can see the whole story of Ms Nixon's case at the links Amy Fox posted in her comment.
Thank you for so clearly missing the point. Thank you for illustrating exactly the kind of prejudice and discrimination that the article's author was talking about. A transwoman participating in a women-only space is not a violation of that space's sanctity or it's safety. It remains a woman-only space even with transwomen in it.
"For those who understand, no explanation is necessary. For those who do not, no explanation is possible."
RR is not an "all-female" space it is a "select-female" space.
See? You just did it too. You can't help yourself, can you?
You can't say things like "women-only" or "all-female," and mean only non-transsexual women, without being anti-transsexual.
Transsexual women ARE female.
Transsexual women ARE women.
How can you talk about equality, about being in this together, when you can't even write a comment without excluding transsexual women from being women?
"This does not mean the organization is anti-men or anti-transsexual, it just fills a need for women seeking relief who feel they would heal best and are most comfortable in a women-only environment."
On the contrary, it is anti-transsexual (and what does "anti-men" have to do with it?) You're saying you want a space for women seeking relieve who want a women-only environment, and then say that this is best accomplished by excluding *some* women who are transsexual.
You're denying that transsexual women are women. How is this not anti-trans? You're denying a safe space for transsexual women who have been raped. *How is this not anti-trans?*
Why do you think, as a woman who is not yourself transsexual, that you can tell transsexual women what actions we're allowed to find hostile against us?
Why do you imply that transsexual women are not subject to male violence?
And please explain why Vancouver Rape Relief's website hosts scores of articles filled with anti-trans hate speech.
No, I'm pretty sure you offered precisely the same point of view. "Transsexuals" aren't women.
We got it, Sheila. You don't see us as women. You never will.
Oh, and it's "not discriminatory", because, of course, we're not women to you. And never will be.
The fact that you're drawing a distinction between "women" and "transsexuals" only serves to illustrate Ms Cooper's point. *It shouldn't matter if a woman is trans* -- any more than it matters if a woman is Chinese or lesbian, or any other category that influences her experience of womanhood. To suggest otherwise is the very essence of discrimination, and to enshrine such distinctions in law is *institutionalized* discrimination.
Your attitude is betrayed by your very words. You're only demonstrating how true Ms Cooper's words are.
Ignoring the Anti-trans topics you are sprouting. what has really annoyed me about the VRR and the comments here is how you guys say you are not Anti-men but the organisations FAQ and your comment only talk about MALE on Female rape...
It would go to show that you are not anti-men if the FAQ said "Anyone" instead of "any man" could be a rapist and your comment said "sexual violence" instead of "male violence".
Vancouver Rape Relief is not `an all-female space for women` Please stop pretending otherwise.
One person wrote `as long as Vancouver Rape Relief excludes trans women, you can't rightly call your policy "women only." I suggest "Some Women Only."`` and I just want to second this with all my heart.
Feminist came to understand just how male dominated the world was/is through honest talk about all the limitations women experience in every domain. Feminist uncovered subtle and overt discrimination that ranged from exclusion to sexualized violence in every sphere – public and private and with that analysis they developed ideas and actions to challenge the powers men and boys I’m afraid, unfairly accumulated in their lifetime. The goal is not to maintain gender roles, or any other categorical restriction on human beings. But clarity is needed to describe that men have developed and enforced their own supremacy by accumulating tremendous power and wealth. Men see themselves as a group who deserve this historical, political, social and economic advantage. Men see the group of women as separate and undeserving of decision making and common resources. Gender roles, norms, categories, identities matter, but not enough to take power and wealth from men and redistribute it to women. So get with the program.
You also should be careful given that last Friday Shiela claimed that Rape Relief is not anti-man yet you are here this week spouting off anti-man propaganda and still underscoring the fact that Rape Relief does not consider transwomen to be women.
Another Friday, another fail. Yet again Rape Relief's apologist makes my point for me. You're telling me to get with the program? Turnabout is fair play Tamar, you're the ones doing the discriminating. Last week I challenged Rape Relief to put their money where their mouth is, take down the anti-tans hate speech on your website and start accepting transwomen in your shelter. You have refused to do so and you have proven yet again that you will not until your discrimination is made illegal.
Thank you for backing up my original claim.
Kimberly Nixon wanted to but you wouldn't let her.
i did sit through all of that. i sat there and listened to them on the stand, one after the other, spewing some of the most hateful anti-trans baloney, so much mis-information, paranoia. This was based in fear, rage, mistrust, and a completely false notion of what safety is in the real world.
My Mum and sister and i went to RR when i was a kid. They probably saved our lives. The thought that any woman seeking refuge and support there would be turned away because she didn't start off in the world with a specific set of genitals, or because she's a dyke and RR doesnt seem to believe that dykes abuse one another, or because she's a sex worker and RR thinks sex workers are the spawn of Satan... the fact that any woman would be turned away from getting or giving support is so completely messed up.
As messed up as it is, according to the law Rape Relief can certainly continue to discriminate between women. And i and others can discriminate between those organizations we wish to support.
Thanks for the article, Jessie_c.
You talk as if trans women have no exposure to feminism. It might surprise you, but trans women experience the same patriarchal BS that cis women do. We face the same limitations, discrimination, harassment, and sexual violence (and also some distinct oppression cis women don't face).
What makes you presume that we haven't worked in the area of sexual violence? What makes you presume that we aren't survivors? I'm not protesting women only space -- I grew up in women only space and live and breath women only space to this day. What we are protesting is a space that summarily deems certain women as unworthy of services.
It's true that some survivors may be triggered by my presence, but some survivors might be triggered by your presence. I've known survivors triggered by things like french accents or Latin@s or even white people. Why doesn't VRR ban those folks too? The logic behind their argument certainly extends to them. But the reality is that you cannot create a trigger-free space. Nonetheless, triggers are still used as an excuse to ban trans women. The reality is that unlike white folks, people with french accents, or even Latin@s, we don't have the power to stop you -- at least for now.
And since you seem to base your argument on our lack of credentials: I was raised on feminism, literally, from before I could talk. I was involved in several women's and feminist spaces in high school I spent two years as an intern for a domestic violence agency. Since then, I've worked with a sexual assault support agency, I've been involved in numerous community actions, I got a degree in women studies, I've helped support several friends with their survivor experiences, and I've gone through my own survivor experiences as well. I hope you're satisfied with that, but if you aren't, there's more. I just would like you to think about why you need me to list off my credentials in order to not dismiss me. If you are willing to seriously question yourself, you might find it an illuminating experience.
Instead, how about some pressure on the institutions that reinforce male supremacy (patriarchy)? I am absolutely confident that there are other factors much bigger than 1 rape crisis centre interfering with trans people's equal access to employment and enjoyment of life.
In the case of Kimberly Nixon, for example, how about some heat on the former employer, for failing to provide an environment where Kimberly could work comfortably throughout the transition?
It seems worth considering that a human rights legal struggle might acheive more for all of us if launched against a corporation, rather than a small women's group. It does make one wonder why we haven't heard of such a case.
I am ready to join when the voices on this panel organize against the real seats of capitalist,racist & patriarchal power.
Jacqueline
I would truly love to debate with business people over how transpeople are treated in the workforce. I transitioned in a warehouse and despite my company's strong anti-discrimination policies, still felt pressure from one Manager (who has subsequently left the company). One transphobic Manager nearly cost me my job contrary to company policies.
Why is Rape Relief being criticised in these comments? Partly because they sent their spokesepersons in here to spread their anti-trans message in the guise of "clarification" and partly out of sheer disgust that an organisation dedicated to feminism can be so anti-feminist as to say "some women are more equal than others". They gloat about it and slap me in my face with their legally-sanctioned superiority.
Yes there are far more obstacles than Rape Relief. There are the employers who would fire us, the landlords who would evict us, the fanatics who would kill us, the neighbours who would spit on us the paramedics who would let us bleed to death rather than sully their hands by treating us. And right now, that's all 100% legal. (The killings? Until last week, 0 out of 1000 murderers of transwomen were convicted of murder. 0.)
I'm waiting for the Premier to redress that injustice.
Whether or not transexual women are considered women, the Vancouver Rape Relief and Women's Shelter encourages all PEOPLE to join their efforts in fighting male violence against women. Being excluded from the actual transition house, does not in any way mean you are excluded from helping women. For example, it is my understanding that, men volunteer by helping with an aspect of VRR that is imperative in its functioning: fundraising.
I can only imagine what it's like for a transgendered women to feel she is being treated unfairly but, it seems to me, that VRR has been clear on what they define as a women's only space and has no intention of being prejudice.
I'm assuming that as a transgendered person there is the unfortunate challenge of fitting into this so-called grey area where society doesn't know whether to classify you by the way they were born or by the way you were raised or treated by our patriarchy. What VRR defines to be a woman is not the only definition there is. Let us accept that this isn't a black/white, or male/female issue. It's a grey area and I personally believe that VRR has handled it as best it can.
HOW CAN YOU AT VRR BE SO STUPID!!!!! HOW CAN YOU BE SO BLIND!!!!! A women only shelter that caters ONLY to cis-gendered women. We are just as much women as you. We go through as much crap as you, how do you even for a second think that we are not? Don't say you don't, you've played that line for far to long. I was found out at 16, guess what happened???? I WAS ******* RAPED! Got it? Raped. I am a woman. I've been through this. I'm only 21. Where can I turn for getting jumped? Where can I turn for getting raped? Where can I turn for having my life threatened and a knife to my throat? You are sick. If you don't want anything to do with transwomen then say it. If your going to help us then do it. Don't sit on the fence like this. It makes you worse than those who outright despise us. People like you try to trail us along, saying you help, saying you advocate, saying your for the rights of all. **** you. I can't believe how blind you are.
Kyra P.
How do I know they would turn me away? Notwithstanding the anti-trans hate speech on their website, I know it from first-hand reports. I have friends who were raped and who turned to them for help. But because the are trans (and also sex workers) VRR told them to take a flying leap. Not only can "men" not be raped, but sex workers are not worthy of VRR's consideration.
This is not a grey area Mahtab, it's completely black and white. I am a woman, and VRR does not have the right to define my identity for me. VRR most emphatically did not handle it as best as it can, they handled it in the worst, most hateful way it could have. They wasted thousands of dollars that could have gone to helping women, wasted years in fighting this case all the way to the Supreme Court all to further discrimination and divisiveness.
Don't talk to me about "as best it can".
I repeat: to VRR, transwomen are always and forever men. To VRR, men cannot be raped, which is absolute and utter garbage. To VRR, sex workers are unworthy of help.
VRR exists to help only women who meet their inclusion standards, not all women. Never say "all women" when you do not mean it. VRR has been very clear on what they mean by women's only space: They mean only some women. They mean that some women are more equal than others. They mean that they can pick and choose whom they will call "women" and whom they won't. They very clearly mean that they can discriminate and that they will continue to discriminate until that discrimination is made illegal.
And why in the world Mahtab, would you expect me to help VRR if they would never help me? Being excluded from the transition house means that to them I am not a woman. Why in the world should I help my oppressors?
Once again VRR's apologist fails at deflecting attention away from their discrimination. Once again VRR's apologist makes my point for me.
I agree that a transwoman would be mistreated by society just the same as a cisgendered woman (as far as our oppression goes). But what I'm stuck on is where to draw the line? I mean is there a difference in a person born male who openly identifies as female at age 16 versus a male born person who identifies as female openly at age 40 for example? I feel as though one could identify with a ciswoman more than the other, especially if we are considering something oppressive that occured at a young age. What I'm trying to say is that, although in my Adult life I consider a transwoman to be the same as me and to empathize with the way I am presently treated by patriarchy, I'm not sure I feel that my experience as a female child or teenager is something that a transwoman could necessarily empathize with. I am assuming that I was treated a certain/different way by society being (let's say) age 0-12 than a transwoman would have been. Do you know what I'm trying to say? I hope you understand what I'm asking and that I'm not just sounding like an asshole. And please forgive me that my source for defining what it means to be transgendered is: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Transgender
No wonder I consider this to be a grey area.
Your "experience as a child" argument is a logical fallacy that Second-Wave Feminists have been harping on since the 1970s. It hinges on the postulated differences in the way that male-assigned children are treated as opposed to female-assigned children. Where it falls down is there is no one way children are raised. There is no universal "male" nor "female" experience.
There is no line to be drawn. The biggest difference your 40 year old transwoman feels over her 16 year old counterpart is an extra 24 years of fear and misery, trying to fake being someone she's not and fearing exposure every minute of every day of her life. Being forced to act in a way utterly foreign to her.
Try an experiment Mahtab: imagine yourself as a child being ridiculed for playing with dolls. Imagine being laughed at for skipping in the playground. Imagine being bullied because you like flowers and ponies instead of guns and cars. Imagine all the boys and all the girls treating you like a freak because you're not following the unwritten rules. Imagine getting abused by your father for acting "girly". Imagine being scornfully told by your teachers to "Suck it up", "Be a Man", "Stop crying". Imagine being singled out and sent to Psychiatrists who use their authority to abuse you further. Now imagine that continuing every day of your life with no relief and no escape in sight.
Transwomen suffer grievously under the Patriarchy. I won't say whether we suffer more or less, but still we suffer. Also, I wonder why you feel it's so important that transwomen empathise with ciswomens' girlhood. As I explained earlier, there is no monolithic "female experience". There is no One True Way To Be Female. All female experiences are equally valid, no matter what experiences each woman has along the way. (This of course is equally applicable to men; there is no One True Male Experience either.)
You speak from ignorance, but ignorance is correctable. Try reading http://www.t-vox.org/index.php?title=Trans_101 to begin.
Why am I doing this? Because until not so very long ago, Rape Relief was very nearly the only "semi-official" organisation that women were referred to by the VPD. Under that policy, transwomen had literally nowhere to turn. Nowhere. Such a policy is dangerous. It can and has lead to deaths elsewhere. I do not want it to lead to deaths here. Ciswomen are far less likely to be killed than transwomen in a sexual assault by several orders of magnitude. We need more protection, not less.
I do not mean to downplay the impact of a sexual assault. Any sexual assault is horrible and must not be tolerated whether the victim is cis or trans. But a ciswomen is not likely to be murdered during it. I am.
Rape Relief's policy endangers my life. It needs to change. Perhaps now you can see why I'm so passionate about it.
Sarah, your attitude facilitates Rape Relief's bigorty. Your cisprivilege facilitates Rape Relief's bigotry. You have not seen the problem for what it is because up until now it has been invisible to you. I hope that now it has been pointed out to you that you will realise that if you don't take action, if you don't take personal responsibility to end the problem then you will remain part of the problem. Do you want that? It's up to you.
Fine, and dandy. But don't tell me or anyone else that you have a clue as to what our lives are like. You don't. You haven't a clue about our childhoods. We can see that by reading the responses.
What would make us feel you weren't bigoted? If you stopped telling us what our lives are like.
You just don't know.
The protections you mention are insufficient in that they allow a sufficiently malicious person room to manoeuvre around them, all entirely legally. The specific listing of gender expression and gender identity in the Human Rights Code is desperately needed right now. It's been needed for years. The Government has known this, and still it does nothing.
Instead of telling me that everything is okay because existing laws inadequately cover me, how about telling the Government that the existing laws are inadequate and they need to do something about it?
These things really, really piss me off. Really. And in this society in this day and age? Even in CANADA, we have no rights? Things like those deeply depress me; things like those make my faith in humanity drop to nothing in a split second.
During the height of the Nixon case, I sent a letter to a local publication relating what had occured when I called VRR's crisis line. In the issue of the publication following the one my letter had been published in, a VRR representative spouted the same condescending "no really! Honest! We don't discriminate!" BS they've been posting here, accusing me of lying, swearing such a thing could never have happened. The woman invited me to phone VRR and discuss the incident. I called her bluff. I phoned VRR several times that week asking for her by name. She was always busy. She never returned my calls. The reply in the newspaper was another apologist VRR smokescreen to sway people in their favor. When I wrote that publication again to tell everyone I called her bluff and she avoided talking to me, there was no further reply next issue from anyone at VRR. They can try all they like to defend their anti-trans bigotry but even THEY lacked the nerve to try and defend the bluff they tried on me and failed at.
Transwomen very much DO get raped, and abused by spouses. I've suffered both. And I am living proof that VRR doesn't give a rat's ass about my Trauma.
Personally, I can think of plenty of straight, "woman born" women I would not want anywhere near me (DaisytheDarling is certainly on this list) if I were again going through the pain and suffering one experiences when raped, and I can think of more than a few gay and/or trans-people whose company I would welcome due to their truly compassionate natures (I can think of a few men who have been very supportive, too).
Straight, trans, gay or bi, we are what our maker made us. Only the most fearful, ignorant, and backward among us think that people choose a path in life that leads to ridicule, abuse, and the kinds of blatant disrespect and brutal discrimination described here and elsewhere.
Of course, the reality is that gender and sexuality are not black and white areas, and the sooner all of us understands that, the better. What I know for sure is that truly compassionate, intelligent, and insightful people are accepting of everyone and welcome differences. They seek to understand and to enlighten others (think of Oprah!). Let's all be a little more saint like and open our hearts and minds, rather than displaying our ignorance and intolerance.
Transsexuality is a birth condition resulting in a child who's brain (gender identity) is the opposite gender than the child's physical sex (body). You can read the SCIENTIFIC FACTS here:
http://ai.eecs.umich.edu/people/conway/TS/TS.html#anchor107763
Since it’s impossible to rewire how the brain was programmed in the womb, the only treatment for this birth condition is to medically transition so that our bodies match our brains. This is a long, hard process involving a lot of pain, work and money. No one would choose to do this unless they had to. No one would risk death on an operating table unless life in the wrong body was worth risking death to fix.
Let me ask you a question: Without pointing to your body or birth certificate, how do you know you’re female (assuming you are)? If you’re honest you’ll say “I just know”. Well it’s the same for us. Even if you lived in a different culture, or had never been told that “penis = male” and “vagina = female”, you would still FEEL like one or the other. This is because gender identity and physical sex are two different things. If you are never confronted with the need to differentiate between the two, you'll see them as the same. You are wrong.
Does this mean that people out there will still not abuse the rights of those people? Of course not. As a woman of colour I lived my whole life knowing that feeling of abuse from different people, be it some school teachers. neighbours on the street, other class mates and society at large including media who back then tended to only cast women as sex workers and men as pimps.
So having those protections never means one will ot encounter ignorance, like those posting for the rape relief place, but when that happens until many m,ore(and it does start with you) stand up and do all they can to legally bring attention to it and fight it, it will continue in large numbers.
Ignorance will always be a low part of human kind, there will always be the rape relief type people, the kkk type people, the rapists.
All we can do as people is assert our legal rights and seek that such people who break such laws are brought forward to be dealt with under what ever legal system is set up to deal with them.
I did find it interesting that the rape relief people went right from defensive to aggressive, a rather male trait.
If you can't persuade them then attack and belittle them. Try and beat them down so they feel lower then low so that you can continue to control them. Yes male indeed. How much like the man who lived in our home as I grew up, whom I refuse to acknowledge as a father.
Yes rape relief people, women born with transexuality are women. One can not help or have control over how they are born, or what colour for that matter. All they can do is life the best life they can, dealing with ignorant types best they can and educating others who are open to education.
the rape relief people have shown others the ugly of society, they aren't worth anymore of your time or energy. Just be happy you are not them, or living around them. To be them would mean to be having to look yourself in the mirror and see the ugly truth each day.
No don't waste your time being angry with them anymore.
People know all about them. Lobby governments to create alternatives to them. And if any government moeny is passed on their way, lobby that government to cease. Lobby organisations that support them, to support alternatives offering better treatment of all women in that area.
Instead of wasting your time hating them, pity them for having to wake up each day with such an ugliness inside and out.
The more I think about it the more I'd be aghast if either of my daughters ever needed their services.
First because of having to need such services, and secondly because they went into a place that is hateful and teaches that hate by example.
Myself if I ever needed such services again, I would do what I did the fist time. Use my close nit family of friends who also have lived through similar abuses/rapes and assorted trauma.
You need to learn the facts about trans peoples' lives before you make any more pronouncements about what I have to live with every day of my existence.
I'd like to introduce you to two of my friends. The first one is Life. The second one is Clue. Know them. Get them.
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