The Brazilian locals are more at ease in skimpy beachwear than foreigners are.

Randall Shirley

I think that as an Eagle Scout, I should have been taught how to tie dental floss into a bikini bottom. Because on Ipanema Beach, looking at an ass that’s “covered” by little more than a strand of Oral-B’s best, this skill certainly would have come in handy.

If Brazilian bikinis had to state their thread count, it would practically be in the negative digits. There simply isn’t enough fabric in some of these bikinis to cover a flea’s hoo hoo, let alone the girls of Rio de Janeiro.

High above the city, atop 710-metre Corcovado Peak, the statue of Christ the Redeemer—Rio’s icon since 1931—must surely wish his stone arms would bend so that he could cover his stone eyes. Instead, he stands with his arms wide-open, as if to say, “Come unto me, you hot babes and dudes!”

Even I, gay as a goose, find myself staring at these women in their teeny-weeny polka-dot-or-not bikinis. The last time I saw chicks wearing such skimpy attire was in a bisexual porn flick I accidentally ordered in a Quebec City hotel room.

Bikini watching on Rio de Janeiro’s beaches becomes a sort of spectator sport for me. I mentally start judging the girls, giving points for bravest show of breast, most unfortunate cottage-cheese bum, too old for the style, best breast implants, and so on. One woman, wearing hardly more than a strand of knotted thread, shamelessly displays an ass that could fill an IMAX screen, 3-D glasses not required.

I wander Ipanema for a few hours with a North American girl I met at my hostel, who tries to halt my judgments. “Isn’t it great that they just don’t have our body hang-ups? They can be who they are and happily show it off.” Perhaps…

A lot of Brazilians do look absolutely stunning, perfect body or not. Perhaps their appeal is more in their confident attitudes than their physiques. It’s not just the women who strut their stuff; there is plenty of hot man-candy in Speedo-style bathing suits, which Brazilians call sunga.

To learn more about Brazilians’ attitude toward beachwear, I decide to shop for one myself, exploring the many bikini boutiques in Ipanema, Rio’s most fashionable and upscale neighbourhood. The top shops are located in small malls along Rua Visconde de Pirajá, a shopping street two blocks from Ipanema Beach.

In the shops, the sales staff are helpful enough when I ask them about bikini trends, and the shopgirls are surprisingly open when I question them about their personal preferences with regard to bikini fabric quantity.

One says she goes for a skimpy-as-hell top while preferring to cover more on her lower half. Another explains that she goes for modesty in both places. The opinions are as varied as the people, but for the most part they agree that the Brazilian version of modesty is rather liberal compared with what North American and European customers want to buy. Basically, there are bikinis for Brazilians and bikinis designed to appeal to foreigners. A salesclerk holds up both versions of the same bikini, and to my eyes the one meant to appeal to non-Brazilians would cover about three times more skin, with fuller bra cups as well as a fuller triangle and behind.

I also learn that the Brazilian trend isn’t solely about less and less. In fact, bikinis are part of the world of haute couture, and that means for many bikini wearers, design and style are as important as showing skin. Trends include metal baubles, metallic fabrics, and single shoulder straps. One of the biggest trends right now is mixing and matching styles, with customers putting together their own combo from anything in the store.

Beachwear at swanky Ipanema shops like Lenny, Brigie, Salinas, and even a shop owned by Helô Pinheiro, the “Girl From Ipanema” herself, can run to nearly $200 for a sliver of the latest fabric and style, although there are plenty of more affordable options—vendors even wander the beach selling cheaper bikinis on the spot.

For guys, Blue Man’s selection of sungas is huge, even if the swimsuits aren’t. Many Brazilian men are now wearing board shorts at the beach, but Blue Man staff estimate that 80 percent of guys still wear sungas, sometimes even under their board shorts. Sungas come in a variety of sizes and colours, but most Brazilian men seem to prefer a reasonably modest version in black. A few guys wear “banana hammocks” and other skimpy versions, but I don’t spot nearly as many scantily clad men as I do women.

Of course, showing some skin means not showing certain bits of hair. And I can’t bring myself to get the male version of a Brazilian wax, even though sunga waxing for men is available.

One thing’s for sure: whether you’re comfortable in a few knotted strands of dental floss or you require a bit more coverage, you will find a bikini to suit your style in Rio. I eventually managed to find a sunga I liked and hit the sand. But at the end of my trip, the suit stayed in Brazil. This Boy Scout needs a few more threads. 

ACCESS: The shops the writer visited in Rio included Salinas, Brigie, Lenny, Blue Man, Garota de Ipanema, and Bum Bum. A good upscale Ipanema hostel near the beach and shopping is the Mango Tree.