If you’re on the Canned Hamm mailing list, you might have received a slightly perplexing e-mail this week. It seems that Lil’ Hamm—aka Robert Dayton, cofrontman for the internationally renowned inventors of “Entainment”—is itching to mount Canned Hamm’s traditional Vancouver Christmas show but doesn’t have the funds to make it out here from his new home in Toronto. But the e-mail isn’t entirely clear on what we can do about it.

In a call to the Straight, Big Hamm offered his perspective. “What Robert is asking for is money,” he said flatly, adding that $1,200 should cover everything. “I think he is, anyway. He can be a little convoluted in his communications.”

Lil’ Hamm himself eventually cleared things up, a bit, when he told the Straight, “Let me put this direct: if Vancouver can afford an Olympics it can surely afford this. For the low minimum guarantee of a return Toronto flight for Lil’ Hamm, plus minor prop expenses and some extra money so Big Hamm can go buy himself something pretty, we will play your venue after December 20th. That’s all it takes! Have a bake sale or even just get a promoter to say, ”˜Yeah man, we miss the Canned Hamm, I’ll fly you out.’”

Lil’ Hamm added that by “venue”, he meant anything from a club to a school to your basement. What he didn’t explain is how people can donate to the cause, but contacting Lil’ Hamm at moustachedpainless@yahoo.com with any ideas or pledges might be a start.