2010 sex survey: The lust and thrust report

The readers have spoken and, er, fantasized. Survey says: you’d do Lady Gaga, you got laid in a convent—and you’re twisted.

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      Power can be sexy, but not in all cases, judging by the results of the fifth annual Georgia Straight sex survey. In this year’s questionnaire, which was available on Straight.com in late December and early January, women and men were asked which politician they would like to have sex with.

      For women, two men dominated the pack: U.S. president Barack Obama and Vancouver mayor Gregor Robertson. Obama collected a quarter of the votes from females who answered the question. Our city’s Olympic mayor was cited by more than 15 percent of women, which could be taken as an indication that Robertson won’t have difficulty getting reelected.

      Trailing far behind was former U.S. president Bill Clinton. Even after the Monica Lewinsky scandal and all his other bimbo eruptions, there are plenty of women who still find him charming. Women also voted for NDP Leader Jack Layton, Liberal MP Justin Trudeau, former prime minister Pierre Trudeau, former British prime minister Tony Blair, Defence Minister Peter MacKay, Obama chief of staff Rahm Emanuel, and Vancouver–West End NDP MLA Spencer Herbert.

      Former U.S. vice presidential candidate Sarah Palin led among male respondents. This, no doubt, gives more ammunition to all those women who think men are shallow. The guys’ second-favourite female bedmate from the world of politics was Belinda Stronach, who hasn’t sat in Parliament since 2008. There was a tie for third place between Vancouver–Mount Pleasant NDP MLA Jenny Kwan and Italian sexpot Mara Carfagna. If you’ve never heard of Carfagna, look her up on the Internet and you’ll understand why men expressed a desire to, ahem, spend time with her.

      Several men also expressed an interest in having sex with Surrey mayor Dianne Watts, former B.C. finance minister Carole Taylor, secretary of state Hillary Clinton, former prime minister Kim Campbell, Gov. Gen. Michaí«lle Jean, Public Works Minister Rona Ambrose, and Liberal MP Ruby Dhalla, as well as Obama and Herbert.

      Prime Minister Stephen Harper was the most loathed by both male and female respondents, topping the list of politicians people would never have sex with. However, one woman stated that she might reconsider if he put on a fuzzy sweater.

      There was a dead heat for the sexiest female actor. Jessica Alba, Angelina Jolie, and Scarlett Johansson have repeatedly appeared in the top three in our annual surveys, but this was the first time they each attracted the same number of votes from men selecting the actor they would most like to have sex with. Women chose Johnny Depp for the fifth consecutive year as the male actor they would most like to take to bed. According to the survey, large numbers of women and men have no desire to have sex with either Tom Cruise or Mick Jagger—repeating the results of previous years.

      Even though there were more than 25,000 answers to individual questions, we don’t claim that the results have any scientific validity because respondents weren’t chosen randomly. People chose to fill out the questionnaire anonymously, and the results don’t include the views of those who have no interest in answering a bunch of questions about their sex lives. Also note that with some questions, percentages don’t add up to 100 because of rounding.

      Nevertheless, the survey delivered some intriguing data. This year, for the first time, no women reported having paid for sex, which suggests that the global economic downturn has harmed the prospects of local gigolos. Among those who responded to a question about infidelity, 22 percent of married women and 28 percent of married men reported having sex outside their regular relationship in the past year. And 13 percent of married female respondents and 11 percent of married male respondents admitted to having unprotected sex with someone who wasn’t their spouse.

      Some of the most entertaining answers involved locations where people had sex. One woman claimed she did it in the kitchen of a church. Another woman reported getting it on in a convent. Two other women revealed that they had each played with a partner in a cemetery. One guy cited a monastery as his most unusual location, while another said he did the deed on the steps of an unnamed Kitsilano church. Is nothing sacred anymore?

      Perhaps those responses weren’t as peculiar as that of a woman who said she had sex on the front lawn of City Hall. There was also a lot of bathroom sex reported in a breathtaking array of locations, including a Wendy’s restaurant, the Westin Bayshore, and the Fairmont Hotel Vancouver. One woman said she did it in the Denman Cinema men’s washroom. A guy reported having sex in a bathroom in a private suite at GM Place. There were also claims of sex in the bathrooms at the Amsterdam airport, a youth hostel in Taipei, the Odyssey nightclub, the Vancouver Convention Centre, and the Richmond Olympic Oval.

      But the strangest location of all came from the guy who confessed to having sex underneath the bus ticketing desk on the ferry from Victoria to Vancouver. Another guy claimed that he made out in the clock tower at Lonsdale Quay. The most surprising female response came from a woman who did it in a glass elevator at a Seattle public market.

      Then there were the “unusual desires”. One woman reported that she was attracted to the idea of “dressing straight boys up in my clothing”. Another woman wanted to be paid for sex in shoes and clothes. (Some men might not find that unusual.) Another expressed a wish to have anal sex with a man while describing it to a woman underneath her. Yet another respondent said she has thought about getting it on in a tree.

      Our favourite? A young woman who declared: “One time I stepped into a music store for the first time in a long while and got totally excited in the pants.” Hmmm. We never thought shelves of CDs could have this effect.

      It’s generally acknowledged that men are more sexually twisted than women. In this regard, a couple of the male respondents didn’t disappoint. Under the category of unusual desires, one cited a wish to fart in someone’s mouth. Another wanted to be penetrated by a dog. We’re not making this up.

      The Georgia Straight sex survey isn’t going to change the world, but perhaps it’ll make us reflect on some of the choices we make. We hope that it also makes us more accepting of our sexual differences and helps us feel a little less guilty about our fantasies—so long as they don’t involve animals!

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      Feb 7, 2010 at 1:36am

      girls are great