News for Youse: The word of the day is "misinformation"

Environment minister Peter "Piece of Shit" Kent would like all of those pesky environmentalists to stop being so damn mean to him.

Speaking on Thursday (June 21) from Brazil's Rio+20 summit, Kent said that environmentalists are only hyper-critical of the Harper government's record on environmental issues because of differences in ideology—not pausing to consider that perhaps environmentalists are interested in preserving the environment.

“Ideology plays a role certainly in the criticism,” Kent said, although he was quick to point out that some of his best friends are environmentalists, thus rendering his ham-fisted remarks about this group totally valid.

(As we all know, it's absolutely acceptable to knock a group of people as long as you know an individual that is part of said group.)

And while the sanctity and preservation of Canada's environment is important, Kent said that, “We have to remember... that environmental sustainability involves a balance of the environment first but also the economy and society.”

Sure, the environment is great! But making money? Also important. At least as important. Maybe even more important.

All we know is that Kent thinks these environmentalists are just misinformed jerks, spreading lies about the Best Country on Earth™, all in an attempt to unseat the current government. That must be it; couldn't possibly be concerns about the Canadian government pulling out of Kyoto or pipeline spills, which never happen happened just this week. (C'mon, crybabies. They only spilled 230,000 litres of heavy crude oil. That's hardly anything to get worked up about.)

However, Kent's not the only one whining about dastardly jerks who dare speak out against misguided, ill-informed, self-serving government practices. Backers of SOPA (you remember, y'all were protesting it in January by complaining that you couldn't access Wikipedia for 24 hours) are right pissed off that the people who use the Internet decided to protest legislation that undermined their ability to access information and enabled the government to do god knows what with it.

Stephanie Moore, the Democrats' chief counsel for the House Subcommittee on Intellectual Property, Competition and the Internet, told a panel at the American Constitution Society's 2012 National Convention in Washington last week that the opposition to the Stop Online Piracy Act and the Protect IP Act—which saw over 115,000 websites "go dark" on January 18—was totally overblown and "orchestrated by misinformation by a few actors". Moore went as far as saying “netizens poisoned the well," and that because SOPA and PIPA were shelved two days after the protest, that "the reliability of the Internet is at risk.”

When faced with claims that over 800,000 U.S. citizens got a hold of their local representatives to voice concerns over the SOPA/POPA behemoth, what did Moore say?

“We don't know what the numbers mean."

You don't know what the numbers mean? Here's a crazy guess: 800,000 people were really fucking pissed off and did something about it. But we're not the Democrats' chief counsel for the House Subcommittee on Intellectual Property, Competition and the Internet, so we are hardly an authority on "the numbers".

Looking to get pregnant? Well, other than staying away from crude oil spills and the American Constitution Society, hopeful mothers-can-be can now download an app that tracks their remaining days of fertility. Created by artist Mira Kaddoura, the app is part of an art exhibition examining a woman's biological clock. For just $1.99, women can track how long they have before their wombs dry up and they become completely worthless as breeding stock. (And, ergo, totally irrelevant to the Harper government.)

While Kaddoura hopes her work will inspire dialogue around fertility and conception, we here at News for Youse can't help but worry about the larger implications—like, say, if a federal government with a terrible record on women's rights decided to use such technology to forcibly track the remaining child-bearing years of its female citizens, ensuring that all women maximize the productivity of their wombs.

Ugh. We should really stop reading The Handmaid's Tale before bed.

Follow the misinformed Miranda Nelson on Twitter.