Halloween antics don’t get any cooler than they do at the Waldorf on Friday and Saturday (October 26 and 27), when the club puts three artfully twisted spins on three classics: the haunted house, the circus sideshow, and the Soho “bed show”. We are definitely not going to miss the haunted maze, put together by special-effects teams, film technicians, and visual artists: taking up the whole freaking parking lot, it’s being dubbed “The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari meets Evil Dead 2”. That’s good enough for us. Inside, a ringmaster hosts a show with a human pincushion, musicians, tap dancers, and—wait for it—a team of evil clowns; upstairs in the hotel rooms, the bed show harks back to London at a time when pornography was illegal, complete with a DJ, models, dancers, and burlesque performers. Hey, wait a minute: that doesn’t sound scary at all.