Trailer Park Boys

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      Though full of really bad plans made worse by hard liquor and strong weed, the Trailer Park Boys have become Canadian media moguls. Their hugely popular TV series kicks off its seventh season this Sunday (April 8) on Showcase. On top of that, Trailer Park Boys: The Movie, released last fall, was a box-office hit, winning three Genie nominations. And now they've come out with their own book, The Complete Trailer Park Boys (Random House Canada, $24.95), a glossy guide to all aspects of life in their home community of Sunnyvale, Nova Scotia. As the Georgia Straight suggests to the boys when they stop for a chat at a downtown hotel during their book-signing tour, the country hasn't seen this kind of empire-building since the heyday of Conrad Black.

      "Do you mean Conrad Bain from Diff'rent Strokes?" Bubbles asks, thrown off a follow-up question as to whether this success makes the three of them role models for young entrepreneurs. Luckily, Ricky is there to pick up the ball.

      "Younger people can be learning some stuff from us," he responds thoughtfully, "just about how to support yourselves and how to look after your family and friends, I guess."

      "Yeah," the well-groomed Julian adds, "I mean, our parents abandoned Bubbles and me back when we were six or seven, so we've learned how to survive on our own."

      As anyone who watches the show knows, their empire is founded on crime, just as Lord Black of Crossharbour argues his wasn't. And the fame that has come their way in the eight years since a camera crew began recording their every illegal move–as they've stolen barbecues, groceries, gasoline, shopping carts, Christmas trees, electricity, fur coats, big-screen TVs, arc welders, alcohol, and cigarettes, even while passing bad cheques, running makeshift massage parlours, kidnapping rock stars, and, most crucial to the operation, growing and selling bales of hydroponic dope–has in some ways cramped their style.

      "Sometimes”¦we tell them to turn them off," Julian observes, "and they say, 'Oh, okay, sure' but they don't and it gets us into a lot of trouble. I mean, it's getting a lot harder for us to break the law."

      Ricky also feels that the mounting video evidence is becoming a problem that even his idiot savant–like gift for bullshitting can't solve. "It's hard if you're in court and you're saying, 'Well, we didn't really rob the liquor store' and then if they just play the tape of the camera crew that followed you."

      Yet, as all three agree, fame has placed them in the same position as, say, Bono or Angelina Jolie–people who use their celebrity to speak out on the major issues of the day.

      "I did some stuff with the SPCA out here, actually, for kitties," says Bubbles, championing the cause that is always closest to his heart.

      "Yeah, we could get onboard with you on that, Bubs," Julian remarks. "Why not? With the kitties and dogs and lizards or whatever."

      Ricky, though, is looking at an even bigger picture. "All the wars and stuff, too–if people just sat around and got high they probably wouldn't fight each other, so we could get behind that, I guess. Rather than shoot each other, just get high together and be friends," he explains, arguing this insight applies even to the situation in Iraq. "I mean, they're pretty close to Afghanistan, and those guys make great hash.”¦There's got to be a way to figure it out."

      Does this mean the Trailer Park Boys have become something like goodwill ambassadors for Canada, given that their TV show has been broadcast in a dozen foreign countries, including Iceland, Israel, and New Zealand?

      "People can definitely learn a lot from us," Ricky responds, stroking a sideburn. "With the war thing, I mean, we don't have too many wars in Canada, so I guess it's good that we're–what did you say, 'ambassa-something'? I guess it's good that we're those. For Canada."

      In fact, this altruism extends even to their new book. According to Ricky, it's the kind of volume that could help promote literacy at a time when reading is a vanishing art.

      "If you can't read that well, then this is a good book for you," he says, noting his own struggles with text.

      "You just look at the pictures, right, Rick?" Julian asks.

      "The words in there are pretty basic, so you should be able to get through it, which might make you want to read something else.

      "I like books," Ricky continues. "Well, not really. Magazines are cool. I think pictures are just easier."

      "Pictures are worth a thousand words, as they say, Ricky," Bubbles chimes in.

      "Well," Ricky says, pausing for a sigh, "they're just easier to read."

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