Stop the presses. The Fraser Institute–loving Vancouver Sun–which has been maligned for its previous coverage on climate change–has announced the appointment of David Suzuki as editor for a day.

How was CanWest able to strike a deal with Canada's marquee environmentalist? Fortunately, our crack team of sleuths has found a transcript of a conversation between Suzuki and Sun editor-in-chief Patricia Graham. We haven't confirmed its authenticity, so we can't guarantee its accuracy.

Patricia Graham: I have an offer. I want to make you editor of the Vancouver Slum, er Sun, for a day.

David Suzuki: That's terrific news. For years I've fantasized about firing whoever gave climate-change deniers so much space in your paper.

Graham: Say what?

Suzuki: You know–letting Fred Singer, Patrick Michaels, and Terry Corcoran spout their rubbish about global warming in the Sun's opinion pages. I've always suspected that your editorial-page editor, Fazil Mihlar, was responsible. He used to work at the Fraser Institute. I want to fire him.

Graham: David, you're not going to fire anybody at the Vancouver Sun.

Suzuki: Okay, then can I get climate experts like Andrew Weaver and myself to evaluate columns on global warming by Michael Campbell, Jon Ferry, and some of the other CanWest columnists?

Graham: We won't be reviewing any articles by writers in our chain.

Suzuki: Then why should I be editor of the Sun for a day?

Graham: We want to show how committed CanWest Global Communications Corp. is to a better planet.

Suzuki: Gimme a break. I've seen the editorials on Harper. You'll probably endorse him before the next election

Graham: Please be reasonable. Keep in mind that there are benefits for both of us. I freely admit that this will help us do a little greenwashing of our corporate image. By linking our brand to the Suzuki brand, we'll look good.

Suzuki: But what's in it for me?

Graham: The David Suzuki Foundation is a registered charity. Many donors are sweet little old ladies who read the weekend edition of the Vancouver Sun. If you get more publicity, there's a greater chance that your foundation will be included in some geezer's will.

Suzuki: Hey, are you suggesting that my foundation is some money-grubbing little enterprise?

Graham: No, no, no, no. I'm just saying that we can boost your profile.

Suzuki: If I decide to do this, can you mention some of my books in the weekend edition?

Graham: Yes. Do we have a deal?

Suzuki: It's a deal. But first you have to run my photo on all of your newspaper boxes around town.

Graham: My pleasure.