Dutton, 291 pp, $35, hardcover.

As much as The Commitment: Love, Sex, Marriage, and My Family is Dan Savage's declaration of love for Terry Miller, his long-time partner, co-parent of his child, and maybe future husband, it's also a mash note to Canada. Looking north from Washington state, Savage sees an attractive alternative to his own nutsy country: "Delicious tofu scrambles, national leaders who won't attack a tiny minority group for electoral advantage, snowboarders' firm butts-Canada, what's not to like?"

Savage, famous (or notorious) for his sex-advice column Savage Love, has never been shy about sharing his thoughts-on politics as much as sex. We get a little of the bedroom here (of course you want to know how he comforts a straight boy desperate for a cake in the face) and a lot of the courts. It's clearly not difficult for a smart, well-read gay man with an adopted son to go political in a country where personal freedom is enshrined in the Constitution but perverted by its pro-corporation, pro-Bible leaders; where gay marriage is legal in only one state (Massachusetts) and explicitly banned in 16; where the American White Knights of the Ku Klux Klan can ride out in favour of "white Christian values", as they did in Austin, Texas, on November 5, when Proposition 2, banning same-sex marriage statewide, was passed by 76 percent of voters.

For Canadians, though, we can be forgiven if the fervour seems so, like, last year. With same-sex marriage enshrined in law here, we're more likely to see Savage's complaint that his private love for Miller can't find public expression as cold feet. You can overintellectualize these life decisions, and Savage isn't above second-, third-, and fourth-guessing himself. Throughout The Commitment, he questions the purpose of marriage, looks at divorce stats, plumbs the traditions and roots of the ceremonies, and asks the opinion of his mother, his son, and passersby from tattoo artists to coworkers, allegedly to make sure he's absolutely, positively ready to take the plunge-for all the right reasons. Along the way, with his usual self-deprecating charm, he depicts a true thing: a relationship, with its conflicts and doubts, its jealousies and skirmishes, its comforts and pleasures.

I won't tell you if they tie the knot: read the book. Nor can I predict how gay marriage will be resolved in the States. But with a federal election looming at home and Stephen "Not on My Watch" Harper trailing the Liberals by only four points, we should be anything but smug. "If elected, Mr. Harper will quickly become Mr. Bush's new best friend," the right-wing Washington Post wrote on December 2. And as loyal Savage Love readers know, best friends are only a mai tai away from screwing. Let us read The Commitment, then, not just as an entertaining memoir and meditation on marriage, but as a warning of what we stand to lose if the red tide washes across our shores.