J.J. Abrams to direct Star Wars

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After playing footsie with the media for the past couple of months, J.J. Abrams has revealed that, yes—he'll direct the next Star Wars movie. 

The filmmaker is still working on Star Trek Into Darkness, his second whack at that franchise. Then he'll probably create a dozen hugely popular TV shows, direct another handful of movies, and reboot The Six Million Dollar Man before moving onto Star Wars Episode VII, due for release in 2015.

This should give Little Miss Sunshine screenwriter Michael Arndt enough time to iron out all the super-annoying characters and boring shit about trade wars in George Lucas's blueprint for the next trilogy, which Disney inherited along with the rest of the franchise in November.

Episode VII reportedly follows Luke Skywalker into middle-age, where even a strong command of the Force and a healthy midi-chlorian count can't trump bad knees, male-pattern baldness, impotence, and a seemingly permanent feeling of disappointment and crushing ennui. 

But enough about me! 

With Super 8, Abrams did a fairly good job of aping '70s-era Steven Spielberg (for the first half of the film, anyway), so maybe he can make George Lucas a good filmmaker again by proxy. 

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Steve Newton

Jan 24, 2013 at 4:21pm

but the grating score of Super 8 made it almost unbearable to sit through, dontcha think?

4 5 Rating: -1

Adrian Mack

Jan 24, 2013 at 4:33pm

Yeah, it was awful. But I was trying to be positive!

6 4 Rating: +2

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