Dude stuffs vibrating dildo up ass, lives to Tweet about it

Let’s face it: no matter what our sexual orientation, we’ve all stuck things up our asses. Based on a small sampling of those standing in line at the West Broadway Starbucks 10 minutes ago, favoured objects of insertion include fingers, unpeeled carrots with the green stem attached, Barbie Doll heads, Rhea Pearlman, and “none of your fucking business”.

Massive props, however, to Twitter user @Grawly for going above-and-beyond in his efforts to pleasure himself. Last weekend, the dude known to his followers as “televised snowmang” and/or “rude ass robot” did a live chronicle of a medical emergency.
The trouble started out on March 8. At 11:26 p.m. @Grawly Tweeted: “Yo guess who has to go to the hospital because he shoved a dildo up his ass and can’t get it out (answer: it’s me)”.

From what transpired following that, it sounds like he’s a little confused about his sex toy terminology, seeing how his “dildo” was battery powered. (Doesn’t the presence of batteries make it a vibrator? But whatever.)

Select Tweets from there included a brief flurry of worrying about how long the batteries were going to keep going and going (“@Energizer yo how long do your batteries last in vibrating dildos just so I have an estimate if it will still be going when I get to the ER”) and a blow-by-blow description of his hospital visit (“I looked the woman at the ER desk dead in the eye and said “there is no other way to put this. I have a vibrating dildo inside my ass”). Not to spoil the, um, tail end of the story, but things concluded with “Brief update: dildo extracted. Battery lasted about 7 fucking hours. I shat the bed afterwards. I’m tired as hecke”.

Before you make afternoon plans to stuff something up your garbage chute, you might want to read the entire thing on Twitter. Whether it’s all true is anyone’s guess, but @Grawly obviously wants you to believe that it happened, going to far as to post pictures like the one above.