Non-Apology Watch: Beyoncé cancels Belgium show

Beyoncé's making news today not just because of swirling pregnancy speculation (who caaaaaaaaaaaares?) but because she cancelled her May 14 show in Antwerp, Belgium.

In a note posted online to her "dearest" fans, Mrs. Jay-Z said she'd never cancelled a show before and it was incredibly difficult for her to not show up. 

(It's so hard to be adored.)

According to reports, Bey got a note from her doctor excusing her from class the show.

But, because I'm a quibbler, I must point out her "apology" is Grade-A bullshit.

Saying "I'm sorry if I disappointed you" is a non-apology apology. It's the kind of thing you say when you don't feel guilt over what you've done. It deflects the "apologizer's" complicity in the offense and instead puts the onus on the injured party.

If fans were disappointed? Of course they were! They spent a lot of damn money to watch you lip-synch and shake your ass for two hours. Who wouldn't be disappointed? Only everyone!

That's why this non-apology rankles; it feels like Beyoncé's simply paying lip service and it feels oh-so-phony. 

"I'm sorry I disappointed you" is a perfectly acceptable and heart-felt apology. Throwing in that if is just, well, snotty.