Punk band taking donations to kill drummer
St. Louis punk band Without Mother Fucking Order has launched a crowdfunding campaign to kill their drummer, “Crash.”
According to the band’s gofundme page, Crash has gotten a bit long in the tooth and therefore “it’s best he be euthanized.”
While Crash doesn’t look significantly older than any of his bandmates—vocalist Captain Perverto, guitarist Scumby, and bassist “Rodney” all appear to be in their prostate-danger years—Crash is a drummer, and that’s probably enough of a reason.
Kendra Holliday thinks so. “Fuck yeah this world could use one less drummer!” she wrote, upon donating $11 to the campaign.
Including Holliday’s contribution, the band has already managed to raise $26 towards their one hundred dollar goal.
Once the financing is secured, Without Mother Fucking Order hopes to hire Tex Johnson (pictured below) to build his Death Machine.
Johnson’s Death Machine is similar to Dr. Kevorkian’s Death Machine, but it pulls your head off instead of humanely administering a lethal dose of potassium chloride.
BREAKING NEWS: gofundme has pulled Without MF Order’s campaign. Pussies.
Comments
4 Comments
Captain Perverto
Feb 18, 2015 at 10:47pm
It's unfortunate that GoFundMe has taken down our capmaign, we only raised $27 but our super scientist Tex Johnson said he can make the Death Machine work for that much, but he requires a Twix bar while he's working on it. We've made a new GoFundMe campaign to raise a whole dollar to make the DEATH MACHINE a reality! http://www.gofundme.com/mpzzhg
Huh?
Feb 27, 2015 at 3:08pm
This is stupid, why would you even post this GS? Are you guys becoming Fox News now???
Fatty Turnbuckle
Feb 27, 2015 at 4:07pm
I... I need to know when this band is coming to Vancouver. Also, I may have access to a Twix bar if they can not get the necessary funding.
G+G
Feb 27, 2015 at 5:56pm
didn't need no freaking machine