Grouse Grind gripes: What not to do when Grinding it

    1 of 1 2 of 1

      Some consider it a Lower Mainland rite of passage. Others just call it what it is: torture.

      I've only done the Grouse Grind five times in the past three years but in that short time, I've seen some hilarious things.

      In fact, on my first time, I saw a couple who looked like they came straight from the office: he was in a business suit and she was in a blazer, skirt, and heels. 

      Another time, I saw a guy unload a table out of his car in the parking lot. (I can just imagine the conversation: A: "Let's go do the Grind." B: "Perfect. I needed to move some furniture anyway.")

      But I've also seen some accidents waiting to happen. I've come to quickly recognize what not to do on the demanding 2.5-kilometre trail (boasting an elevation gain of 853 metres).

      Ascending the 2,830 steps is hard enough to do in itself. What makes it more agonzing is navigating around people who are oblivious to others.

      Yes, we all are exhausted and struggling to push onward. Yes, we all transform into Grind zombies, mindlessly (and moaningly) shuffling towards the top for no apparent reason other than hoping we'll find our brains again up there. But that doesn't mean you have to be completely mindless.

      Most importantly, there are some serious safety issues involved.

      One wrong move and you could potentially make someone (who may be physically and mentally depleted) lose their balance or stumble, or send someone falling. This is particularly true in wetter conditions, especially when it gets misty near the top and some of the surfaces are moist and slippery, or when it gets quite crowded on the weekend.

      At the very least, such behaviour can break someone's stride, possibly forcing them to stop and lose momentum, and it can make the climb more difficult than it already is. And sometimes when you're out of breath or low energy, it can be challenging to have to ask someone to let you pass.

      With now over 100,000 people hiking the trail annually (and more and more newbies trying it out), to be respectful of others and prevent injury, here are just a few things to keep in mind when Grinding it:

      1. Avoid walking with someone else side by side: The only thing worse would be also going up with strollers. And lattes. Moral of the story: Single file, people, so others can pass you.
      2. Avoid walking with your hands on your hips and elbows outstretched: Taking up a power stance won't get you there faster. It certainly doesn't help others who are trying to pass by you while you block the trail. Yes, this is about movement, but if you want to take a stand, join an activist movement. Which brings me to my next point...
      3. Avoid stopping and standing in the middle of the trail: It's mind-boggling how many people do this. Please don't confuse the Grind with goalie camp, okay?
        Experienced and polite Grinders step to the side (some even off the trail) to let people pass. If you want to pass others, also consider saying "On your left" so they're aware of you. 
      4. Avoid zig-zagging: It's bad enough to be behind someone doing this on a sidewalk but it's even worse on the Grind. Being haphazard in your movements can also increase the risk of causing someone behind you to lose balance or stumble. Lateral movement also wastes your own energy and time. Sometimes it's necessary, due to uneven surfaces, but it's best avoided whenever possible.
      5. Avoid going back down: People do complain a lot about this. And there is a huge sign that says that descent is prohibited on the Grind. It can be a potential safety issue if someone is marching up with their head down, focussing on their footing, and doesn't see someone coming down.
      6. Earphones: Sure, music might help you keep your beat or distract you from the physical agony of the experience, but it's a serious problem when you can't hear someone behind you or saying "excuse me". If you are so tuned out that you are oblivious to the presence of your fellow Grinders, this can be a safety issue.
      7. Inappropriate clothing: In addition to the previously mentioned office wear, you will also want to avoid: flipflops, jeans, corsets, Halloween costumes, haute couture, biohazard suits, and other restrictive clothing. This will decrease the need to turn back, or becoming an obstacle to your fellow Grinders.
      8. Litter: While there doesn't appear to be a lot, it is surprising that people do continue to litter. If you took it up with you, why not just carry it to the top? Believe it or not, it doesn't just magically vanish in the forest. Also, trash will attract wildlife.

      The bottom line is that a lot of these problems arise due to people operating as if they're the only ones on the trail, as if it's their own personal Stairmaster. It's not; it's a communal space.

      Nonetheless, it continues to be an amazing workout that is sheltered from sun and most rain by a tree canopy, with an incredible view as a reward at the top. There are also some inspirational individuals on the trail (even some youngsters and elderly).

      Some of the best times to go are during the week (when it's less crowded) or when the weather is cooler.

      For more information, visit the Grouse Grind webpage.

      Comments

      16 Comments

      RUK

      Jul 11, 2013 at 1:52pm

      Good list Craig. I admit I am one of the headphones people - the music helps me to forget what a terrible time I am having.

      Also: don't use poles. I've run into a few people that do it, and been whacked in the face once.

      My personal tip to people starting out is not to push yourself during the first bit where it is easy. You're so going to wish you had saved some energy for the gruesome second quarter.

      Jacks

      Jul 11, 2013 at 2:19pm

      Agreed, I take music with me, but it's low enough that I can hear people talking to me, but I am still distracted from "the terrible time I am having" (love that). As for the rest of the list, many of these also apply to busy sidewalks in Vancouver as well. :-)

      Joel

      Jul 11, 2013 at 2:25pm

      If you do decide to come back down simply take the BCMC, it's actually a far better trail.

      Martin Dunphy

      Jul 11, 2013 at 3:20pm

      Get the same benefits by climbing stairwells in the tallest buildings in town: can customize your workout length, less travel time, no crowds, sheltered from the sun and rain and wind, can go back down the same way you came up, can stop whenever or wherever you want, can listen to tunes with no problems, can climb naked with virtually no chance of being found out, don't have to worry about your trash attracting wildlife, and if there is an observation deck/your apartment/accessible rooftop, you are rewarded with a great view!

      Bob

      Jul 11, 2013 at 3:53pm

      Great list. The Grind is a mountain trail. Grinders should be prepared for any type of problem that can arise. Carry a headlamp- your cell phone light is not suitable for the trail if you get caught by darkness. Take extra water, take some extra clothes. When a problem arises you could be there for a long time. So be prepared.

      RUK

      Jul 11, 2013 at 3:58pm

      Martin you're so right (as usual!) but the Grind is kind of a ritual or totem. It's standardized...we all know what it means when Takeuchi complains that he can only do it in 44 minutes or something ridiculously fast like that...there is beer at the top.

      Jon Shaw

      Jul 11, 2013 at 4:54pm

      My absolute favourite was when I passed two very winded tourists about ten minutes up - as I passed by one of them was saying to the other "I'm sure we're about halfway".

      I wanted to say something but I smiled instead :)

      Seriously though, good list. My solution I devised for the headphones - I put my phone in my backpack's top pocket with music on low. That way I can hear it, and the sounds around me. I would be concerned about it bothering others but..I take the BCMC trail up because its empty so theres rarely someone near me.

      Climbing

      Jul 11, 2013 at 5:40pm

      Totally agree with these pointers. Could you add to the list 'if you see someone heading up while on a break, could you please wait until they pass you to start ascending again?'. Its like a parked car deciding to go straight back into traffic without waiting for a break.

      See ya on the Grind!

      me

      Jul 11, 2013 at 8:37pm

      Agree -- no poles. Also, no repeated passing of the same people. I.e. short sprints with breaks so you are constantly leapfrogging the same people again and again. Uncouth.

      Downward Spiral

      Jul 12, 2013 at 1:20am

      If it wasn't so expensive to take the tram they would would have less people walking back down.