What to do in case of a power outage in Vancouver this Thanksgiving weekend
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With the remains of Hurricane Oho hitting the Lower Mainland this weekend and the recent power outage still fresh in the malleable minds of Vancouverites, here are a few tips on what to do in case you lose electricity.
- Panic immediately
- Call everyone you know with your rapidly dwindling cellphone battery to inquire if they too have lost power
- Tweet about the outage repeatedly. Sample tweet: “OMG POWER’S OUT!!!!” We are relying on you because there is no other way we would know if the power is out unless we read your Twitter account!
- Play three hours of Candy Crush
- Throw an adult temper tantrum because your phone is dead
- Throw an adult temper tantrum because Thanksgiving is ruined!
- Demand grocery stores and local government pay for any food that has spoiled because you are obviously the only person this extended power outage has affected
- Write angry letters to us detailing the lack of grocery-government response to your spoiled food issue
"This is bad advice!" you cry. "How will this help the situation at all?"
Congratulations, you are a rational human being. Here are some real tips for you.
Before the power goes out
- Charge your phone
- Ditto your rechargable batteries
- Know where your flashlight is and ensure it has enough fully charged batteries (see item two)
- Get out your rain gear
- If you regularly take medication, make sure you have enough to last over the weekend
- Buy enough non-perishable food to get you through a few days
- Did you buy your non-perishable food in canned form? Make sure you haven’t thrown out that crappy manual can opener you hate because you will actually need it
After the power goes out
- Do not panic
- Wait for five or 10 minutes to see whether it's a temporary outage or if you should be settling in for a while
- If your power is still out after 10 minutes, report the outage to 1-888-POWER-ON or text *49376 (*HYDRO) on your should-now-be-fully-charged cellphone
- Reacquaint yourself with the books and board games in your house
- Refrain from opening your fridge and freezer more than necessary; your fridge will stay cold for four hours if you leave it alone
- Dig out extra blankets and warm sweaters in case the temperature drops
- Build a blanket fort! (Not required but recommended.)
- Thank the Powers That Be for the power outage as it means you won’t have to make a massive Thanksgiving dinner for those ungrateful relatives you hate
- Do not write angry letters to us detailing the lack of government response to your spoiled food issue; we will simply remind you that we told you to stop opening the damn fridge door so much
- Hope this doesn't happen:
When your power comes back on
- Netflix and chill
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