Bike helmets and the road to fascism
I refuse to wear a bike helmet for many reasons, the first and best reason being that a man has his pride.
This will never be good enough in a city with a puritanical streak as long and wide as Vancouver’s, of course.
Here, the benefits of a decent hairstyle always have to be weighed against the probability of receiving yet another drive-by road safety lecture from a sanctimonious prick in a cancer-spewing death-machine. (“Where’s your helmet, idiot!?”)
Then there’s all that hand-wringing over “the burden on health care” and jerry-rigged statistics about traumatic head injury, all of it ridiculous when you consider how efficiently humans have been slaughtering each other in their gas-powered status symbols for the last six decades.
Speaking of slaughter, I was reading Joseph Howard Tyson’s The Surreal Reich to my eight-year-old last night when I came across an interesting passage. Reflector discs, it seems, were first patented by Anton Loibl, an officer of the SS, and then used to fatten the coffers of the Ahnenerbe when Himmler made them mandatory for all bikes in 1938.
“And this is how authoritarian bike safety by-laws lead to fascism,” I explained to my daughter. “Now, you sleep tight, my little one.”
It’s important to read to your kids.