Reprobate soccer players punish the asses of helpless maidens

Hockey takes a lot of shit, mostly from those who don’t know dick-all about the game and things like The Code.

Do you know why players get viciously sucker-punched from behind on occasion, sometimes at the hands of Vancouver Canucks? It’s because they’ve usually done something to deserve it, as in this case of a famous Canuck dishing out some good old-fashioned frontier justice.

Funnily, soccer gets very little shit, to the point where it’s gained some endlessly baffling description as “the beautiful game”. You know what? It’s not a beautiful game at all. For a start, it’s boring as batshit, and not just to the likes of Homer J. Simpson.

It’s a game played by people whose idea of celebrating is to bite each other’s cocks (not that there’s anything wrong with that.)

And it’s a game where each match is guaranteed to have at least one or two Academy Award-worthy performances from guys who wouldn’t last one shift in an NHL game.

How odious is the game of soccer? Well, let’s put is this way: what kind of sports heroes think that good fun is lining up a bunch of fair maidens in a gym, and then battering their asses with their inflated balls. 

Can you imagine Sidney Crosby firing pucks at the buttocks of some chick in an ice rink? Of course not.

But when you play soccer—in this case for Royal Antwerp, a team located somewhere overseas in one those countries where they probably eat French fries with mayonnaise—there’s evidently nothing wrong with making grown women wince, and then laughing about using their panty-clad rumps for target practice, as you’ll see from the video below.

Reprobates.