Miley Cyrus quits smoking, gets ready to titillate middle-age dads

Today’s must-know Miley Cyrus news is that the former Hannah Montana has managed to quit smoking. On February 2, the “Wrecking Ball” singer, serial twerker, and occasional Sinéad O’Connor basher tweeted the following: “2 months no cigs #proudofmyself”.

Keeping her tongue in her head for longer than 13 seconds has sadly, however, proven to be more of a challenge.

For those curious about such things, her preferred brand was Camel.

To the delight of tweens and the oogling middle-aged dads who’ll be in charge of chaperoning them, the frequently barely-dressed Cyrus plays Vancouver’s GM Place on Friday (February 14).

This will be followed the next morning by serious heart-to-heart breakfast table discussions about how it is totally not okay to act like a complete whore in public.

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Someday she will look back on this period of her life and cringe. Much like most people cringe now. My buddy who is working on this tour says rehearsals in Tacoma have been chaotic with apparently no one in charge. He says this beast is large and stupid (the show, not miley).
Rating: -8
A. MacInnis
My friend Blake Smith made an interesting observation on Facebook the other day: that the prime function of people like Miley and Bieber is, in fact, as a target of resentment and scorn - that they exist more to generate and feed negative attention than positive, serving sort of (this was my contribution) as a pop-cultural version of that "two minute hates" or whatever it is in 1984, where you scream at a screen at a publicly approved object of hostility.

It would actually be a good name for a Straight column: Two Minutes Hate, featuring a new celebrity every week... As long as the targets were young, rich, beautiful, and relatively talentless, I could get behind something like that.
Rating: +1
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