Homeless in Vancouver: Having a bit of a hard water problem out here

Wednesday morning (November 25) on my way to breakfast, I was caught by one of those little tricks that residents sometimes like to play on us binners who are searching the alleys for refundable beverage containers.

I’m referring to the trick where a big piece of ice is somehow wedged inside of a little-necked water bottle.

I have below zero tolerance for this sort of thing

This ice-in-a-bottle thing is a very irritating both because bottle depots only pay the refund on empty containers and because, for the life of me, I can’t figure out how it’s done. It either involves some intricate maneuver, like sticking a sailing ship inside of a bottle, or it’s something so ridiculously simple and obvious that I’d be embarrassed not to have known—if only I knew—if you know what I mean.

And now that I stop to think, I’m sure that it has something to do with the temperature. It’s only on really cold days like today that people try to pull this particular trick on us.

Perhaps when it gets below zero outside, some people sit inside their warm apartments all day getting bored and pass the time dreaming up practical jokes to play on other people.

But no, that would be too cold.