Crystal Precious has lots of pie for you

When Crystal Precious debuted her single “Apple Pie” last year, the message was loud and clear—“No pie for you!”

Things have changed with the upcoming release of her Self Evident-produced debut album, Queen of Sass, on March 18 (through Bandcamp.)

Now the newly anointed strip-hop queen has nothing but pie, for all of us, starting with a humongous pre-release party at the Rio Theatre on Saturday (February 15).

Among the guests are Precious’s Sweet Soul Burlesque sisters Lola FrostTristan Risk, Cherry OnTop, Melody Mangler, Rita Star and Cara Milk—all performing to live cuts from Queen of Sass.

New York burlesque legend Jo Boobs Weldon will also be on hand, along with Chadio, dance company Subscura, and a “very special surprise guest” (who we're assured is so “GOOD!" they get capital letters and an exclamation mark.)

“Apple Pie” director Stuart Mackay-Smith, meanwhile, is using the event to launch a Kickstarter campaign for the next video from the album.

He’s drummed up some interesting rewards for all you potential financiers, including “private skype shows”; “personalized pie delivery”; “20 minutes of uninterrupted eye contact with Lola Frost”; “a pair of Cara Milk's stockings”; and a cast of Tristan Risk’s lower body made by a visual effects crew.

The mind reels. More info here.

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