Homeless in Vancouver: Homeless troll explained

These days they virtually live on the Internet, but historically a troll’s preferred pied-à-terre has been underneath a bridge. So I was surprised a few days ago to see this little guy hiding in the fork pocket of a Dumpster. What, I thought, could have displaced him?

I think I found the answer at 10th Avenue and Burrard Street—only about four blocks west of the troll’s new digs: the Burrard Bridge has gone into rehab.

Troubled bridge over waters

I’m not making it up. The Burrard Bridge, the art deco span across False Creek, has fallen into the drink, as they say. There’s a portable LED traffic sign that says so: “BURRARD BRIDGE REHAB.”

Surprising? Not really. Not in hindsight. The Burrard Bridge has had to pass by the Molson Burrard Street brewery (now Molson Coors) every day for 56 years.

I remember that 30 years ago the thick, hoppy smell of the brewing process hung over the south end of the bridge. Then someone at city hall told Molson to close a window or something because now it just smells like cars.

Certainly city officials will have been aware of bridge’s drinking problem for years. Perhaps they’ve tried to deal with it quietly—some pier counselling, a bridge whisperer—who knows.

A 12-step program doesn’t go very far with an 836-metre span.

The Burrard Bridge is one of three bridges crossing False Creek into downtown Vancouver. That plus its heritage status makes it irreplaceable.

The city’s only real choice was to cross its fingers and hope the bridge didn’t get too tipsy (or tippy) and fall down on the job—and if it did, well, they’d cross that bridge when they came to it, right?

Well that day has finally come—inconveniencing motorists, cyclist, pedestrians and trolls alike.

Vehicles only face a short detour onto the Granville Street Bridge and pedestrians don’t need to go downtown anyway. It’s the displaced trolls we should worry about, though we’ll probably never know exactly how many of the anonymous little creatures are affected.

All we can really do is watch the Internet message boards and blogs and see how many of the more disputatious commenters are missing in action. 

Click the images to enlarge.