Wu-Tang affiliate chops off penis, learns it's hard to commit suicide from the second floor

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      As rap groups go, the Wu-Tang Clan family has included personalities that might charitably be described as “erratic”. 

      Right now, as the band prepares the release of its latest record, A Better Tomorrow, you’ve got Raekwon declaring that he’s on strike because fellow Wu-Tang founder RZA is entirely out of touch with what’s going on in the trenches today. Talking to Rolling Stone in an interview posted today, Raekwon described RZA—who has carved out a career scoring Hollywood films—as follows: It’s like being a coach and you won rings back in the day, but now your team is in ninth place. It’s time for a new fucking game plan.”

      Looking at the Wu-Tang’s past history, let’s pause to remember the dearly departed Ol’ Dirty Bastard, memorably described by Wikipedia as having a career marked by “wild and criminal behavior”, including “assault, shoplifting, wearing body armor after being convicted of a felony, and possession of cocaine”.

      Not to make light of a delicate event, but Wu-Tang Clan associate Andre Johnson has just outdone everyone in the supergroup’s extended family. Police have reported that Johnson—who raps under the name Christ Bearer—cut his penis off Wednesday, and then attempted to jump to his death from his L.A. apartment. Making that suicide a bit less than successful was the fact that the MC lived on the second floor.

      Christ Bearer was rushed to Cedars-Sinai Medical Center where doctors were unsuccessful in their efforts to reattach his, um, Johnson. The now penis-less MC is said to be in stable condition.

      TMZ reported that there were other rappers present, and that they stated no drugs were being consumed at the time of the incident. They did however add that the Johnson is believed to have mental problems.

      Christ Bearer rapped in Northstar, a group founded by RZA. He's also great enough in the video below that you can almost forgive the white clown for popping up halfway through and then doing his best to ruin the song.

      Comments

      1 Comments

      ..ny3an

      Apr 17, 2014 at 8:10pm

      Ho-ly Shit!