Homeless in Vancouver: A binner in his Prime

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      “Look. It’s from the Transformers movie! It’s got a built-in microphone. Anything you say sounds like a robot. And it says stuff too.”

      “I am Optimus Prime.”

      “That’s the big guy. You just press this button on the side.”

      “Autobots, let’s roll out!”

      “It’s in mint condition see? Not a scratch!”

      “The Decepticons must be stopped.”

      “Ha! That’s cool! Look it up on the Internet.”

      “Stand with us and fight!”

      “That’s it! The ‘Hasbro Transformers Optimus Prime Voice Changer Helmet.’ What’s it worth?”

      “Autobots, let’s roll out!”

      “$80 in the box. $30 by itself? Cool.”

      “I am Optimus Prime.”

      “You’re right. I’m gonna run down the battery.”

      “I wanna wear this the next time the police stop me.”

      Stanley Q. Woodvine is a homeless resident of Vancouver who has worked in the past as an illustrator, graphic designer, and writer.