Homeless in Vancouver: A new way to share and enjoy books?

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      A nice person explained to me how these new book dispensary machines work.

      You simply stand in front of the dispenser slot and think of the kind of books you like to read. When you have a clear picture in your mind, tap anywhere on the machine three times, then hold your hands under the dispenser slot and wait.

      The machine will spit out a book perfectly suited to your tastes.

      But, the person warned me, it could take up to 15 minutes and you should just wait patiently.

      A great idea that needs work

      Unfortunately, this unit located near Heather and 15th Avenue is out of order—I’ve tried it several times with no luck.

      The person warned me this might be the case. The book dispensers, they explained, were of an extremely experimental design by none other than the Sirius Cybernetics Corporation, apparently something of a pioneer in the field of artificially intelligent machines and robots and quite famous for their “Happy Vertical People Movers”.

      The book machine could be out of order for any number of reasons. It might be out of my kind of books, or it could be having trouble reading my brain wave patterns because, quote, I’m a “stupid, gullible, idiot” (their exact words).

      Maybe I’ll try this one again later or just go in search of another unit.

      Isn’t technology wonderful?

      Stanley Q. Woodvine is a homeless resident of Vancouver who has worked in the past as an illustrator, graphic designer, and writer.