On the road to Squamish Valley Music Festival: Who killed the Squamish combination KFC and Taco Bell?
Sad news everyone: the cultural hub of Squamish is no more.
Nestled at the base of the The Chief, the combination KFC and Taco Bell was once a vibrant independent business that brought in an expansive community of Whistler elites and Australian backpackers alike. They came together to enjoy the Colonel’s famous fried chicken and Cheesy Gordito Crunches at the same fucking time.
In its place is a cold, soulless new fast food joint called Mag’s 99 Fried Chicken and Mexican Cantina.
While I enjoy my spicy beef Burrito Maximus and fill out a job application, I will speculate wildly about who is to blame for this tragic occurrence.
The combination KFC and Taco Bell lease holders:
What the hell were they thinking launching a business as ambitious as this at such a faraway location? No one lives anywhere near here. Idiots!
The Squamish Valley Music Festival:
They clearly want partiers to eat on festival grounds. Eliminating the one decent restaurant in Squamish is a good way to achieve this.
On such a plum location, minutes away from the Sea to Sky Gondola and the Squamish Valley Music Festival, knocking down a cultural institution to toss up condos seems like a good idea. Here is how I suspect it will all go down. First you quietly get rid of the beloved combination KFC and Taco Bell, and in its place put in some shell business that people won’t support or even miss when its gone. Then, boom, send in the bulldozers. (Seriously, Mag’s 99 Fried Chicken and Mexican Cantina did a terrible job wrapping my Burrito Maximus and it fell apart after one bite. This place won’t last long.)
A safe scapegoat for most of the problems in the region, but likely not to blame for this.
Fuck, it’s true. While I proudly declared my love for the combination KFC and Taco Bell online on numerous occasions, I rarely supported it and usually only popped in to take advantage of its lax bathroom use policy. I will launch an online petition as soon as I’m back in Vancouver. #IWANTFRIEDCHICKENANDGORDITOS