On the road to Squamish Valley Music Festival: Who killed the Squamish combination KFC and Taco Bell?

Sad news everyone: the cultural hub of Squamish is no more.

Nestled at the base of the The Chief, the combination KFC and Taco Bell was once a vibrant independent business that brought in an expansive community of Whistler elites and Australian backpackers alike. They came together to enjoy the Colonel’s famous fried chicken and Cheesy Gordito Crunches at the same fucking time.

In its place is a cold, soulless new fast food joint called Mag’s 99 Fried Chicken and Mexican Cantina.

While I enjoy my spicy beef Burrito Maximus and fill out a job application, I will speculate wildly about who is to blame for this tragic occurrence. 

The combination KFC and Taco Bell lease holders:

What the hell were they thinking launching a business as ambitious as this at such a faraway location? No one lives anywhere near here. Idiots!

The Squamish Valley Music Festival:

They clearly want partiers to eat on festival grounds. Eliminating the one decent restaurant in Squamish is a good way to achieve this. 

Condo developers:

On such a plum location, minutes away from the Sea to Sky Gondola and the Squamish Valley Music Festival, knocking down a cultural institution to toss up condos seems like a good idea. Here is how I suspect it will all go down. First you quietly get rid of the beloved combination KFC and Taco Bell, and in its place put in some shell business that people won’t support or even miss when its gone. Then, boom, send in the bulldozers. (Seriously, Mag’s 99 Fried Chicken and Mexican Cantina did a terrible job wrapping my Burrito Maximus and it fell apart after one bite. This place won’t last long.) 

Australians:

A safe scapegoat for most of the problems in the region, but likely not to blame for this. 

Me:

Fuck, it’s true. While I proudly declared my love for the combination KFC and Taco Bell online on numerous occasions, I rarely supported it and usually only popped in to take advantage of its lax bathroom use policy. I will launch an online petition as soon as I’m back in Vancouver. #IWANTFRIEDCHICKENANDGORDITOS 

Comments (20) Add New Comment
Mike Hunt
Another cultural venue bites the dust!
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Rating: +10
Tony
Mags is 1000 times better. I would ask what you are smoking, but if you were smoking you would already know this.
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Rating: +21
Who ever
If this is the only thing you could comment on about Squamish your an idiot!
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Colonelita
Hear hear brother
Tapped into the mind of the reader!
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Miranda Nelson
HOW DARE YOU BE FLIPPANT ABOUT VERY SERIOUS ISSUES, MICHAEL.
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Jack's Complete Lack of Surprise
"YOUR AN IDIOT!"
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a teacher
*sigh* there is a difference between your and you're. Your is a possessive pronoun, you're is a contraction of you are. It's your language and you're ruining it.
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ACMESalesRep
“In its place is a cold, soulless new fast food joint called Mag’s 99 Fried Chicken and Mexican Cantina.”

Way to pull a hatchet job on a well-regarded independent local business, asshat.
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Rating: +16
Your Buddy Mayor Gregor
It's a damn shame. They made a great fast food culture hub.
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Big Hamm
Don't fret Michael. The Chilliwack combo store is still intact!
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Rating: +8
xine
I will eat anywhere there are chickens in sombreros. Ole!
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Bruce
@ a teacher....yes! Agreed....and you know another one which I can't believe gets messed up is 'loose' and 'lose'.
As in 'you are not a looser, you are a loser'...dammit...or 'the Canucks weren't a loosing team last year, they were a freaking losing team last year!
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Rating: +6
R Johnson
As a Squamish local I can say mag's 99 is easily one of the best places to eat in Squamish. This entire article must be a joke! You deserve to loose your job over this as there business may suffer because of your stupidity!

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HellSlayerAndy
@A_Teacher
Fixed Ur ID
Ur Welcome
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wod
serious business killer? who reads this shit?
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Wolfgang
I never complain if the food is good. I'll be back.
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Rick Nicholson
I have been taking teens above and beyound Squamish for backpacking and other a sundry issues, and the go to place for both bathroom and food break was the McDonald's - by far the most popular stop for usually broke teens.
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Will
Satire and tongue-in-cheek humour just doesn't work on some people. The Campfire Grill down the road is actually really good too, by the way.
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Jon
Soulless?!!?? Michael Mann are you serious?! I'd say you're wayyyyyy out to lunch on this one.

Mags is loaded with more character and soul than any corporate fast food joint. Not to mention they make outstanding food that's becoming legendary in Squamish.

Maybe you were drunk when you wrote this??
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Naturalmystic
The old KFC/Taco Bell was indeed heaven. The new Mexican't joint is gross and infested with disgusting hipsters. Squamish is a shithole that only exists as a fuel stop/piss break and the only decent place was the KFC/Taco Bell.
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Rating: -2
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