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Chad Kroeger to marry Avril Lavigne. Yes, really.
Photo from Avril Lavigne's Twitter feed.
We're calling them "Chavril". Go ahead and use it, but remember that you read it here first.
Ahem... Canadian stars Chad "the Walking Penis" Kroeger and Avril Lavigne have announced that, after a whirlwind romance that almost no one (except for Mish Way) seemed to notice, they are getting hitched.
The Nickelback frontman and the, uh, Avril Lavigne frontwoman apparently fell for each other while they were collaborating on a song—no doubt a really, really good song. After quietly dating for six months, Kroeger proposed to Lavigne by whipping out his massive 14-inch.... er, that is, a massive 14-carat diamond. Which was presumably affixed to a ring of some kind. Hopefully the kind that goes on one's finger.>
This will be the first marriage for Kroeger, 37, and the second for Lavigne, 27, who was married to Sum 41's Deryck Whibley from 2006 to 2009.
A wedding date has not been announced, but when that blessed day comes, here's hoping Kroeger will serenade his bride with one of Nickelback's tender romantic ballads. Like this one:
The fact that we have might have believed otherwise proves that we are dumber than they are. That would be OUR fault, not theirs.
from backstage hooker hairdressers to in studio hookers with "music careers".
"hey stupid, meet fugly and rich!"
the wow factor on this is amazing, but then again, neither of them are very bright so...
I bet Mark Jowett woke Terry McBride up this morning by rolling over and screaming "NOOOOOOOO DADDY NOOOOO!!!" .
Thanks. But something's just not flowing there. Maybe its that Chavril sounds a lot like some dish with goat cheese. I think I'm going rogue with "Chadvril". I know, crazy right?
1) They are really quite successful in their chosen careers, and
2) A celebrity Canadian is marrying a celebrity Canadian (which makes Canadians madder eh?), which
3) Reminds me of the old joke about Canadians. A local guy is gathering crabs off some maritime beach at low-tide and some Yank tourist sees him tossing them into this large pail and says, "hey how come you don't use a lid? They will just all crawl out in a flash!"
The guy carries on tossing small crabs in and says "Naah... these are Canadian crabs, eh? As soon as one of them tries to get a leg up... the rest pull him down."
Good-luck to the newly betrothed. Don't mind all the crabs on here.
Sounds too much like Advil to my ears, but if it works for you, go for it.
With Chad looking more like "Horribly Charred" Kroeger in his new facelift/hairpiece/Big Bird getup and Advil Ludvigne puttin on the pounds in lieu of her sagging and disappearing career, it would take more than a crab or two to keep those two from exploding full speed into the trajectory of Epic Derp they are heading into...
Not even autotune can save that fiesta of full on fail...
They "found" each other because no one else wants anything to do with them...sycophants and fans aside of course.
Churd marrying Advil is like...shooting crabs in a bucket...
or better, calling out for pizza with an extra helping of desperate...
"Advil needs some help with her record now that Raine and Chardtell Crabbyasscrack are off that $wagon.."
"OOHH SEND HER TO ME!"
Two vapid platinum sellers...the Sonny and Cher of your generation...except Sonny and Cher had actual talent...
and could carry on a conversation...
mmm wish them luck...
those two losers are gonna need it.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?list=UUZ9oqQugXGQW83bvimgRZOA&v=0UKkLPAek9A...!
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