News for Youse: Blatchford revived by whiff of sex-killing and decomposition
Stand back, everyone, Christie Blatchford has an opinion.
Revived by the taint of decomposition in the air, the lumpy congealment in Blechford’s chest made a thump-thump sound as words like dismemberment, video, Homolka, and gay porn floated across her grey mental transom, inspiring the much-feared Volks Posten columnist to muster all the monumental keyboarding skills at her disposal today, composing for readers a savoury description of 1 Lunatic 1 Ice Pick—the notorious video now at the centre of the unfolding “body parts” story .
Blatchford manfully took on the job of watching the notorious video—it’s a moral duty in Blatch-world— which allegedly shows gay porno dude and Karla Homolka-bait Luka Magnotta killing, dismembering, eating, and sexually assaulting the victim whose body parts he is said to have subsequently mailed to Conservative and Liberal Party headquarters. It’s “sick-making,” she concludes, with blinding insight and only a hint of titillation.
1 Lunatic 1 Ice Pick was originally posted on a website called bestgore.com. In one of the oddest wrinkles in the story, Toronto police received a call about the putative snuff movie about a week ago from a lawyer in Montana.
"I was on the bestgore.com website and I saw what I was sure was a videotaped murder," said Roger Renville, in a story found on Stun Media. Toronto police “dismissed its existence” when Renville called.
Speaking of Stun Media, “award-winning reporter” Joe Warmington put his delicate constitution aside to courageously revisit an interview he videotaped with the “creepy” Magnotta back in 2007, when the alleged killer was merely denying that he’d ever dated Homolka.
“It was very bizarre. The whole thing is surreal,” offers Warmington in a piece published today. (wow, bizarre and surreal?) “Like I said before,” he writes. “Creepy.”
Warmington is clearly one hell of a wordsmith, but it’s the Grand Dame of psychopathia sexualis who comes up with easily the best zinger this morning, deciding finally that this whole foul business must be the internet’s fault.
“The web that is a force for good, which enables freedom in dictatorships and emboldens revolution, is also this web,” Blatchford concludes. “Call it the Gore Spring.”
The GORE SPRING! Ka-FUCKING-POW! Readers ought to remember that back in the good old days, snuff-hounds had to whack it to a Christie Blatchford column if they wanted to colour their sex-killing fantasies with a little hard detail. I'd be outraged, too.