News for Youse: Cannibals in Papua New Guinea, zombies in Detroit

Okay, this cannibal thing has gotten way out of control.

Elections in Papua New Guinea have been delayed after a cannibalistic cult killed and ate seven people in a coastal town. The 500-member cult "began as an attempt to curb extortion by self-proclaimed sorcerers who were demanding money from sick people," according to the Telegraph. However, it soon got out of hand when members "began to believe they had special powers to detect sorcerers."--and, er, the right, nay, the duty to kill them and consume their tasty flesh.

Twenty-nine ghoulish muggles have been arrested in the attacks and eatings, including a 13-year-old boy, but the leader—a local politician—remains at large.

What do you do with a city that's lost 60 percent of its population since 1950? And would you pay money to be chased by a hoard of zombies? That's the hope of entrepreneur Mark Siwak, who wants to turn abandoned sections of Detroit into a live-action zombie role-playing game.

Watch the business proposal.

Named Z World Detroit, Siwak envisions creating a 200+ acre compound wherein people would pay to avoid actors playing zombies in an overnight game of endurance, employing hundreds of people and not at all exploiting a depopulated, struggling city.

Want to donate to the project? Check out the theme park's Indiegogo page (they only want $145,000!). Seriously, click the link; those hastily scribbled crayon drawings really help sell the project as one of complete seriousness and respect, no?

While we're on the topic of wasteful spending, the B.C. Lottery Corporation is shelling out $10,000 to cover Roberto Luongo's entry fee into the World Series of Poker main event in Las Vegas next week. While Luongo has an endorsement deal with the BCLC, he also has millions upon millions of dollars from this little side project of his, namely goaltending in the NHL. We never want to begrudge a person for playing frivolous games of chance and also skill, but this smacks of wasteful spending. Although if we think about it, we're sure the positive coverage the BCLC has received from this small stunt is worth much more than $10,000 to the Crown corporation, so really we're just contributing to the things we hate.

Finally, as proof we here at News for Youse aren't completely heartless monsters, we'd like to send out our congratulations to Shin Shin the panda, who just gave birth to a tiny and adorable baby at Toyko's Ueno Zoological Park this week. It's the first panda birth the zoo has seen in 24 years, and the first birth there due to natural breeding ever. Which proves the old adage, "Artificially inseminate a panda, and it will pop out a baby once every quarter-century. Teach a panda to mate, and you'll have delicious panda meat for years."

Follow Miranda Nelson on Twitter. Then go play outside, will ya?