News for Youse: Conservatives, could you please stay the hell out of my vagina?
“In 1939, the NDP leader didn’t even want to support the fight against Hitler."
Guess which politician made that insane yet entirely real remark during Question Period yesterday?
If you guessed Stephen Harper, then you are correct! (There will be no prizes.)
During a debate about Canada's ongoing involvement in Afghanistan, Harper threw out the spectre of the Nazis to shame the NDP for its pacifist tendencies, claiming the party didn't think getting involved in the Second World War was a good idea.
Well, he's right. There is no way the NDP supported Canada's involvement in WWII because the NDP didn't exist until 1961, a fact quickly pointed out by many irate NDP MPs.
In true Harper form, the former economics major merely shrugged his shoulders and said, "CCF, NDP, same difference."
(Again, that's a real quote, we cannot stress that enough.)
Frankly it's only a little surprising to have confirmation of our Dear Leader's ignorance of Canadian history; it's actually more surprising that he's never created a directive to rewrite Canadian history to better reflect his confused beliefs and boast of his sexual prowess and lion strength.
While we're on the topic of "Shit Conservatives Say and Do That Surprises No One With Critical Thinking Skills", backbenching MP Stephen Woodworth introduced a BS private member's bill to reopen the debate about abortion.
Harper was quick to jump up and say, "Well, it doesn't really reopen the abortion debate at all and I'm not going to vote for the bill anyway, but the rules say any MP can table any asinine bill they want." (No word on whether Harper will be tabling a bill to retroactively assign blame for the Second World War on the NDP.)
Well, maybe this bill isn't about reigniting the debate about a woman's autonomy over her own goddamn body. What exactly is Woodworth proposing?
"That a special committee of the House be appointed and directed to review the declaration in Subsection 223(1) of the Criminal Code which states that a child becomes a human being only at the moment of complete birth and to answer the questions hereinafter set forth."
It's hardly light morning reading, but you can dig into the whole debate if you like, wherein Woodworth compares fetal rights to those of adult humans, states that the abortion of fetuses is akin to killing newborn babies, and sees no irony in invoking an ancient proverb as a reason to examine a 400-year-old definition of what is a human.
Dear Conservatives, could you please stop being so fucking transvaginal already? There are very few things I want in my vagina and you are not one of them.
But it seems like Canadians may be wising up to Harper's apparent disregard for their feelings or worth as human beings; a recent Nanos Research Survey shows that overall trust in Harper's abilities as prime minister have dropped from 31.7 percent to 20 percent in the last two months alone.
Well, well, well; there may just be hope for this sorry nation after all.
Follow incredulous vagina-haver Miranda Nelson on Twitter.