News for Youse: Gary Busey snubbed by horny Straight readers, faces bankruptcy

What a shit day for Gary Busey. First, the Hollywood star—considered by many to be the greatest actor of his generation—wakes up to find he’s been totally shut out of the Georgia Straight’s annual Who I’d Fuck survey by weedy non-entities like Ryan Gosling and that beady-eyed Reynolds creature.

Then he goes, “Oh fuck, I’m broke.” Having apparently squandered the fortune he made writing all of Buddy Holly’s songs, Busey is joining “many great American institutions, i.e., General Motors, American Airlines, and others who have utilized the strategic business tool called bankruptcy…” (this is from a statement by his manager).

True story: Busey once told Letterman that after his big motorcycle accident his head had been sewn back on with “hamster feet.” As American institutions go, he’s a lot funnier than Citigroup or JP Morgan, if not as eligible for a taxpayer bailout, and it’s a bizarro world indeed when Greece can score a $172 billion kiss-of-life just in the Nick Papadopoulos of time (see what I did there?), but Drake Sabitch goes hungry.

In happier news, Stephen Harper finally knows what a real majority feels like after a breathtaking sweep in the Straight's “Which politician would you never have sex with?” category. Boom, not only did the PM finally secure the lesbian vote, but he did it on the same day that he scored major oil and uranium export agreements with China, bringing Canada’s long-cherished dream of a runaway greenhouse gas scenario and/or the irradiation of the entire planet that much closer to reality. Now that's hot.

Meanwhile, many miles away, something crawls to the surface of a dark, Icelandic loch:

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