News for Youse: Labatt Blue threatens to sue Montreal Gazette over Magnotta photo, PR industry shakes its head

Talk about a PR failure secret success.

Labatt Blue is threatening to sue the Montreal Gazette as the paper dared to run a photo of accused killer Luka Rocco Magnotta (who will not be fighting extradition from Berlin, where he was arrested on June 4) drinking a bottle of Labatt Blue alongside an online article. (That photo up there? That's not the same photo. That guy could be drinking any shitty beer, we can't ever know for sure what kind.)

Honestly, whoever in the marketing department came up with that ridiculous attempt to hitch their brand to the largest trending story happening right now—while making it look like the brand is unabashedly trying to sever itself from a gruesome crime—well, being a ghoul is the sort of thing you get promoted for, right?

Just think: from now on, you won't be known as the beer that presumed murderers drink. You'll be known as the company that threatened to sue a poor newspaper for printing a photo of a dude drinking a beer, a beer whose brand we probably wouldn't have noticed unless you'd pointed it out in such a public way.

To their credit, the Gazette refuses to back down and plans to take the case to court if so be it. "Just try us, bro," is the sentiment we're imaging in the news room today. No word on whether they'll be breaking open several crates of Labatt Blue later on this afternoon, a gift we assume is hurtling its way toward the paper from the brewery right now.

Hey Canadians! Does this sound familiar? Voters in Wisconsin have reported receiving robocalls stating that if the voter had previously signed a petition supporting the recall of Governor Scott Walker, then he or she would not need to vote in a recall election. Walker's campaign is shocked—SHOCKED!—at these crazy, unprecedented allegations because as we all know a political party has never attempt to pervert the course of an election in the history of humankind.

Oh wait. It only happens all the freakin' time. Whatever happened to that Pierre Poutine chap anyway?

Here's another story to add to your sorry-I-was-late excuse file (you do keep one, right?): a Maryland man was charged with assault (two kinds!) after allegedly shooting his co-worker in the chest and hand with a nail gun. Other hot excuses include "attacked by a bear", "dropped something at the Capilano Suspension Bridge", and "face was eaten by zombie".

And the final topic for today's Two-Minute Hate: it cost taxpayers $47,000 to mount that 2010 news conference during which Peter MacKay unveiled that really intelligent and not completely idiotic fighter-jet purchase we are stuck with.

We won't get started on the long list of things we would purchase with $47,000, but know that at least one item would be covered in gold.

Readers, we think we've figured out how to balance the budget: outlaw pointless fucking photo ops and other such government-aggrandizing activities.

By the way, do we know how much Stephen Harper's trip to the U.K. for Queen Elizabeth II's overblown and pointless Diamond Jubilee cost the taxpayers yet?

Follow the generally outraged Miranda Nelson on Twitter.