News for Youse: Ted Nugent urges voters to decapitate Democrats

Kitsilano has one less peeping tom today. Vancouver police have nabbed a man after a month long investigation, charging him with three counts of voyeurism and 15 counts of prowling. Residents were shocked to learn that their their bucolic neighbourhood around 6th and Macdonald had been targeted by the peeper, many of them wondering aloud why he didn’t just get an apartment in the West End and a pair of binoculars like everybody else?

Meanwhile, in an example of “science” getting in the way of our God-given right to do whatever crazy shit we feel like, two separate reports have emerged claiming that fracking leads to increased seismic activity. Hydraulic fracturing—in which natural gas is released by high-intensity blasts of water, chemicals, and sand aimed into the ground— already has a rep only marginally better than secretly dumping toxic waste upstream from a kid's cancer ward, but fortunately there’s always somebody to provide the voice of reason.

In this case, a seismologist with Natural Resources Canada told CTV that an unnatural increase in the number of “small earthquakes” is nothing to worry about while there’s “no evidence at this point of large or damaging earthquakes associated with this process." Clearly, the man isn’t acquainted with the basic physical principles embodied by either Jenga or Ker-Plunk!, although muddying a clear issue with doubt might be something he grasps.

Elsewhere in the world of right-thinking men, Ted Nugent told an NRA convention over the weekend that Obama is “wiping his ass” with the Constitution, and urged fellow lunatics to thin the numbers of Democrat voters by “chopping their heads off”. The Nuge also predicted that pending an Obama win, “I will be either be dead or in jail by this time next year.” We can but Hope.

Comments (5) Add New Comment
It's really easy to describe Ted Nugent, He's just an ASSHOLE.
Rating: +3
Given the cost of housing in the west end of Vancouver, I think it's unfair to expect peepers to simply rent an apartment and use binoculars (as Mr. Mack suggests).

What we need in this city is more affordable housing for voyeurs. Naturally, this should be coupled with an affordable housing strategy for exhibitionists.
Rating: +2
Ted's a Douche nozzle
You mean the same Ted Nugent, who wormed his way out of military duty by crapping himself, and looking like a derelict, so he would be considered mentally unstable for duty?

Rating: -2
How can he say this?
Far as one can tell he has no head but instead his mouth seems to be where his a** should be.
Moving along, nothing to (lol) smell here!
Rating: +1
banging out the Obama blues
Here a chop, there a chop, everywhere a chop, chop says Nugent is out to alarm and will do little harm as Obama has heads up in the up coming election. As Amercan's feel at home with their presdent as Obama invites voters into the White House for his winning speach.
Rating: -1
Add new comment
To prevent automated spam submissions leave this field empty.