From phone whores to @$$holes, the Vancouver International Fringe Festival has it all

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      Phone whores? Human nailings? Grumpy guitarists? We're all over that. The weird and whacked-out press kits are rolling in here at the Straight: it must soon be time for the Vancouver International Fringe Festival!

      This year it seems that theatre troupes are really torquing up titles to lure in crowds.

      If a picture can tell a thousand words, how much can a title tell? Here are some of our favourites so far: Stay Away From My Boat @$$hole; Fruitcake—Ten Commandments from the Psych Ward; Phone Whore; The Illumination of the Grumpy Guitarist; Jesus in Montana: Adventures in a Doomsday Cult; Mr. Boat-Head's Electrical Dream Ship; and the simple but effective Oh My God; or Yum/Yuck.

      Then there's the press kit from Arnie the Carnie's House of Fun, which along with two packs of Dad's Cookies intriguingly carries a large nail and a note that promises "4 inches of solid steel...A nail identical to this will be hammered into Arnie the Carnie's face during each and every performance." Okaaaaay...

      Check out deets on all the shows at www.vancouverfringe.com; tickets are already on sale. And our bet's the most insane titles will go first.

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