Reviled director Uwe Boll won't stop making movies
You may have heard about the incident that occured last week on the Maple Ridge set of Uwe Boll's latest project, Dungeon Seige 2. Six people were sent to hospital after an explosion that occurred as a propane heater was being filled, and police and WorkSafeBC were conducting an investigation.
More shocking than the explosion itself, though, was the fact that the critically despised Boll has actually been allowed to make another film! Isn't there an online petition declaring that he should never set foot behind a camera again? Why yes, there is, and at last look it had garnered the signatures of 361,942 outraged moviegoers.
Not all Boll-haters are content to just sign their names to a petition and hope for the best, though. A certain Doug S., for example, left this comment on straight.com last week, hoping Boll might take notice:
Dr. Boll, if you happen to be reading this, I need to be compensated for the four hours of my life I spent watching your movies. Please see below:
To: Dr. Uwe Boll____________________________________
2 Hours - House of the Dead $110.00
2 Hours - Alone in the Dark $110.00
Compensatory damages $2700.00____________________________________
Subtotal $2920.00 HST $350.40____________________________________
Amount payable $3270.40
Please pay within 30 days. Overdue accounts accrue interest at 2%/month (24%/annum)
I have no idea whether Boll intends to reimburse Doug S. for the suffering he endured from his movies, but I do know that the bill the director would get from me would be much higher, because not only did I similarly sit through the ludicrous House of the Dead and the horribly inept Alone in the Dark, but the inexcusable Bloodrayne as well. And worst of all, I had to review them for the Georgia Straight, which meant I couldn't just immediately try and erase them from memory while leaving the theatre, as Doug S. must have done. I had to actually think about them!
But enough about the past. Maybe I should let bygones be bygones, and forget about trying to recoup anything from Boll for his cinematic misdeeds. Besides, I don't want to get pounded into submission like all the other film critics who dared get into a Vancouver ring with him back in 2006, then saw footage of themselves getting pummeled in the DVD of 2008's Postal.
And who knows, I suppose it's possible that Boll will redeem himself with future projects, maybe show a modicum of talent and taste. Here's the teaser trailer for the German director's upcoming film, Auschwitz, which sees him in a Nazi uniform guarding a gas chamber while Holocaust victims clamber to escape. Warning: like all Boll films, it's hard to watch.
You can follow Steve Newton on Twitter at twitter.com/earofnewt.