Saddled with a perma-horny ogling man? Give him some Lisa Gail

by Mike Usinger on Apr 19, 2012 at 4:23 pm

It’s a sad fact of life, especially if you happen to be man: dudes are pathetic. And nowhere more pathetic than when walking down the street with someone that they are in a warm and loving relationship with.

You know what’s sad? It’s that, even when we are attached, we unrepentantly ogle everything that moves, and then store up the footage for the endless imaginary porno flicks that run on constant loops in our heads. And we’re all the same—which is to say perma-horny—no matter how much we might deny it.

If you are currently dating a man, that’s what you’ve hooked up with. With that in mind, here’s something that anyone saddled with an indiscreet ogler can use as an important educational tool. With any luck, after one viewing of this Lisa Gail instructional video, he’ll either embrace the three-second rule or be too traumatized by what he’s seen to ever stare at anyone on the street again.

Comments (16) Add New Comment
Jim Jimbo
Apr 19, 2012 at 6:40 pm
What's with the cowboy hats, lame dancing, and why is her face brown? This is a horrible video.
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Johnny F.
Apr 19, 2012 at 7:58 pm
Figures Mike Usinger would like this song... he has really crappy taste in music.
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M.G. Stevens
Apr 19, 2012 at 8:29 pm
ugh! song simply sucks. bad.
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Duped
Apr 19, 2012 at 8:50 pm
What the hell Usinger?! I was waiting for some big punchline, like she was a he or some other crazy reason for not looking for more than 3 seconds. You sir are one twisted s.o.b.!
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Lemurr
Apr 19, 2012 at 9:28 pm
I don't understand it.
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Mike rules
Apr 19, 2012 at 9:49 pm
I think what is sad and pathetic is that society teaches dudes to think that their sexuality is sad and pathetic.

The way hetero guys are wired is a fact of life.

I think enough with the repentence ...and more understanding is in order. We need a paradigm shift and that'll only happen when more males speak up and tell it like it is to be a dude - without fear of retribution.

Thanks Mike for this gutsy post.
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I do
Apr 19, 2012 at 9:56 pm
Feminist BS. We're guys, we're hard-wired to look. The world knows it.

Let us look. It doesn't hurt, just to look. We still go home with you, right? We don't mind if you indulge in bodice-ripper fantasies, really. Works out in the long run. ;)

So how about a little live and let live, instead of this outdated sexist crap.

Mike, you've done better.... just sayin'
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moondogg
Apr 19, 2012 at 11:05 pm
I just read some mindless rant/article by some wanker going on about how musicians are worthless scum and then I come across this.

WHAT EXACTLY HAS HAPPENED TO THE STRAIGHT?!!!!

WHAT IS THIS CRAP?!!!
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James G
Apr 20, 2012 at 12:10 am
Saddled would be the right word for those looking for a horse, upon whom they could place blinkers.

Men and women with good vision should use it and look at all the beautiful things in the world, including the sexualized views. There is no need to leer or for a gaze to linger enough to make anyone uncomfortable but being held back from seeing at all is pathetic.
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angel rivera
Apr 20, 2012 at 6:55 am
how you get girls
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Chantelle La Violette
Apr 20, 2012 at 10:08 am
HA!!
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Maya Beckersmith
Apr 20, 2012 at 11:21 am
The video has been removed, but here's another link to it for your listening pleasure: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=57Sb14dyaUc
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Taxpayers R Us
Apr 20, 2012 at 11:40 am
Speak for yourself, Usinger.

If you hate on your gender so much, turn into a woman or something, better yet, a feminist.
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blaaaa
Apr 20, 2012 at 3:32 pm
Ugh, even a chimpanzee can sing better.
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shannenleigh
Apr 20, 2012 at 5:26 pm
Well I'm traumatized and I'm a chick (or woman or girl or whatever the hell word I should use that isn't going to offend somebody)
And moondogg...lighten up will ya?! If you want something more serious...like reports of government manipulation, local news, whatever...the Straight covers it. But...there is always room for the bizarre & satirical, if only to keep us from offing ourselves after reading the serious shit.
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FR
Apr 20, 2012 at 8:10 pm
Does anyone understand tongue-in-cheek/satire anymore? I would think that in this enlightened age of internet and whatnot people would maybe have learned not to take everything at face value. Good thing Spy magazine didn't have a comments section back in the day. Learn to filter, you knee-jerking nitwits.
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