Snoop Dogg sees light, becomes a Lion

Some folks—those who answer to Hogwarth, Ebeneezer, and Dick—are never completely happy with their given names. And then there are those who constantly feel the need to fuck with the monikers that they’ve chosen to give themselves.

Remember when, in the words of Eminem, Prince turned himself into a symbol, and then decided he didn’t like that either. Or how Sean Coombs became Puff Daddy, and then P. Diddy, followed by just plain fucking stupid-sounding Diddy.

Now comes word that Calvin Cordozar Broadus Jr. is once again changing his stage name. You, of course, have gotten to know him as Snoop Dogg, formerly Snoop Doggy Dogg. The pot-loving rap legend also known to fans as the Doggfather evidently saw the light—or whatever it is that Rastafarians see—on a recent trip to Jamaica.

At a press conference in New York City, Broadus announced that his February pilgrimmage to the Caribbean Island left him feeling born again. As part of that rebirth, he’s decided to change his name to Snoop Lion.

“I went to the temple, where the high priest asked me what my name was, and I said, ‘Snoop Dogg,’” Broadus said. “And he looked me in my eyes and said, ‘No more. You are the light; you are the lion.’ From that moment on, it’s like I had started to understand why I was there.”

Along with his new name will come a change in musical direction. Convinced that he’s done everything that he can do in rap, Broadus has decided he’s going to start making reggae albums, starting with his next release, Reincarnated.

That, of course will no doubt go over about as well as when Pat Boone decided to start headbanging with his In a Metal Mood: No More Mr. Nice Guy LP. Or when Spinal Tap added Mach II to its name, and then began doing free-form jazz odysseys.

Finally, Broadus also announced that, while in Jamaica, he connected with the spirit of Bob Marley, and is now in fact the reincarnation of the late reggae icon. There was no mention of how much weed the 40-year-old former gangster rapper smoked before coming to this realization.