Sportsnet Pacific's Don Taylor needs a new routine

Because he never starts off a show with Toronto Maple Leafs highlights, you have to respect Sportsnet Pacific anchor Don Taylor. But for the love of Stan Smyl, would someone get the man a new scriptwriter?

No one seems to have pointed out to Taylor that the lines he recycles night after night after night stopped being funny right around the time Mork & Mindy was must-see TV.

Hands up if you grit your teeth everytime there’s a Chicago Blackhawks highlight package where Nikolai Khabibulin is between the pipes? As sure as sweet Jesus came back from the dead on Easter, that’s a guarantee your going to hear Taylor announce "And Khabibulin stops it with his right Khabi, or was it his left Bulin?"

Fight clips inevitably end with Taylor excitedly gushing that the judges for the bout have either been Hazel Mae’s tight leather skirt, or Jim Van Horne’s moustache.

When Andrew Brunette scores, it's "As always, the assists go to blonde and redhead." The sight of anyone roofing the puck is inevitably followed by "Upstairs, where mom keeps the peanut butter." From "skating gingerly" to "Savardian spinarama" to his four-millionth repeating of "Rolston scores, the assist to his ventriloquist dummy George" the dude seriously needs some fresh material.

And let’s not even get into "A tip for any aspiring broadcasters: anytime you have a chance to say the word brouhaha you take it". Or "Chris Drury-the blockhead". Or "Christoph Schubert, with a Tchaikovsky of a goal!".

Like Robin Williams and your uncle Fred who insists on pulling quarters out of your ear, the shtick has become well-beyond tired. And it’s at the point where, for more than the obvious reasons, Jennifer Hedger on TSN is looking more and more attractive.