Top ways to scare away your B.C. Hydro smart-meter installer
There is a lot of controversy surrounding the issue of smart meters in B.C. A quick look at the comments below such articles on this site will fill you in on the myriad concerns troubling home owners and renters who will soon face the installation of the modernized electricity-monitoring devices.
Health, safety, and privacy questions seem to dominate the anxieties shared by many people about the meters, of which 350,000 have been installed by Corix Utilities’ 307 special workers so far, according to B.C. Hydro. That’s 5,000 to 6,000 per day, and counting.
The Green Party of B.C. reported on November 3 that both Corix employees and B.C. Hydro have threatened people with the following if they refuse to allow the installation of smart meters: their power will be cut off; they will be fined; Hydro will take legal action; they will be charged higher rates for power; and they will be charged a fee for every future meter-reading.
In the interests of lightening the mood a bit and perhaps sparking some discussion, I offer the following playful (and, legally, not at all serious in any way) suggestions about how to discourage your future Corix visitor:
6. Disguise the current device as a solar panel and put a fake water pump on the front lawn. They’ll think you’ve gone off the grid.
5. Post a sign warning of a shock hazard because you’ve wired the old meter up to the electrical impulses that sustain Stephen Harper’s thought processes (no, wait, that’s the sign if you want to make sure the new one is installed).
4. Smear the existing meter with red paint to make it seem that a previous installer met a horrible fate. (An old piece of raw steak or liver wouldn't hurt either.)
3. Chain your dog to the old device (even a poodle will do as long as you give it some pit-bull cred by littering your lawn with empty Wildcat beer cans, old copies of Metro and 24 Hours, and Domino’s pizza boxes).
2. Crank to the max, 24-7, the new album by Metallica and Lou Reed. (Shouldn’t you be doing that anyhow?)
And the number-one thing to do to scare away the smart-meter installer:
1. Cover your lawns with old Bill Vander Zalm election signs--they’ll assume the property is abandoned. (If you don’t have any, ask Chris Delaney. I hear he’s been stockpiling them.)