Van Halen stinks up cyberspace with new single "Tattoo"

by Steve Newton on Jan 10, 2012 at 10:57 am

I've listened to it half a dozen times now, and to me the new Van Halen single just doesn't live up to all the hype. Yesterday brought the crummy news about Tony Iommi, and now this.

As Ear of Newt previously reported, the new VH album A Different Kind of Truth--which is scheduled for release on February 7--has been described as "fucking killer" and "vintage Van Halen" by certain rockers who had an advance listen. But I don't think either of those descriptions fits "Tattoo", the new track released on YouTube today.

Not to get too technical, but it sounds kinda ho-hum to me. And isn't Eddie's solo just a rehash of various licks from "Jump" and "Beat It"? Plus, the video itself gives new meaning to the term "effortless".

When I think "fucking killer" and "vintage Van Halen", "Tattoo" is not what comes to mind. This is what comes to mind:

Update: the new Chickenfoot single stinks too.

You can follow Steve Newton on Twitter at twitter.com/earofnewt.

Comments (50) Add New Comment
totalsavagepunk
Jan 10, 2012 at 12:20 pm
Stop Whining...Good lord.
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Steve Newton
Jan 10, 2012 at 12:29 pm
dude, I've barely STARTED whining!
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Lol
Jan 10, 2012 at 12:33 pm
...ya,put out some of your own material and let's all judge at once! This is the first single...when you actually HEAR the rest of the album..you can then make that kind of statement....relax
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M. Anthony
Jan 10, 2012 at 1:12 pm
Wow, that's some weak sauce, no energy - the only thing that would make it worse is horns. Hope they are saving the "good stuff" for later. They should get rid of that old dude shuffling around and get David Lee Roth + Wolfie should lay off the Twinkies.
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Pat Crowe
Jan 10, 2012 at 1:24 pm
I'd rather chew on tin foil while shaving my head with a cheese grater than have to sit through another Van Halen concert with all of the large minds.
Put a muumuu and a Jessica Rabbit wig on Roth and set him free!
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M.G. Stevens
Jan 10, 2012 at 2:00 pm
Gotta say I found it easier to stay with Tattoo. More range (if that's even a term you can use with these guys..) but there it is. Never liked them in their prime, this seems more nuanced somehow. If so, good for them.

I knew there was some benefit to tuning out from 75'-95'...
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scott oberg
Jan 10, 2012 at 2:17 pm
after you listen to it a couple of times it starts to rock. i like it.
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Kevin Sage
Jan 10, 2012 at 3:08 pm
Newton, you whine like a girl who had her lollipop jacked by the neighborhood bully. If you don't like the song, so what? When was the last time YOUR opinion had an effect on the rest of the world?
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Jay Rock
Jan 10, 2012 at 3:15 pm
I agree, it does get better with time. They are back to rocking about chicks and fun stuff, and Roth sounds great for his age. Larry Bird isn't walking through those doors folks...
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B Weston
Jan 10, 2012 at 3:26 pm
OK I'm gonna say it. Where the HELL is Sammy!!!!
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B Weston
Jan 10, 2012 at 3:28 pm
OK I'm gonna say it. Where the HELL is Sammy!!!
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Surrey Guy
Jan 10, 2012 at 3:38 pm
This could only grow on me like mould; I feel like I need a shower halfway through "Tattoo". There's nothing more pathetic than watching seniors pretend they're in high school; throw them in the KISS file of washed up posers. I'd much rather see older prog-rockers like Rush who not only rock but act their age and can sing about something more than a tramp-stamp. VH should grow up or play out their highschool immaturity in obscurity and spare us. :-)
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jed {rumrunner}
Jan 10, 2012 at 3:44 pm
these were the guys who started it all for me....what the hell happened....i can not believe they can actualy think that ...tattoo is a real van halen song....even the video is B.S........god damm bring me back the evrybody wants some van halen.....dave please find your sorrie ass again ...we miss you ..this is not doing you justice...shit man every guy wanted to be you .....now it scares me to see what ya done to yourself...jump up and down once and a while.....its like ya dont care anymore....we need real van halen.....and the worst thing....you know it's true...
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Steve Newton
Jan 10, 2012 at 3:46 pm
Surrey Guy knows of which he speaks. Screw Van Halen and Chickenfoot: bring on the new Rush single!
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Jacked
Jan 10, 2012 at 4:05 pm
At least it SOUNDS like the real Van Halen
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RP
Jan 10, 2012 at 4:32 pm
The song and the video are downright embarrassing.
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Rich
Jan 10, 2012 at 4:40 pm
You sound like a fuckin idiot, if u aint got nutttin good to say be silent
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cranky mom
Jan 10, 2012 at 4:59 pm
stupid lyrics, but I agree it sounds like VH. Sammy Hagar? u r joking right?
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Richard Mazzerolli
Jan 10, 2012 at 6:03 pm
At least it is something...I bet the rest of the album is better. Time will tell.
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Sam Lloyd
Jan 10, 2012 at 7:56 pm
Fuck all this raw, hard, kickass stuff. Give me some synth-y rumination on love with cliched-as-hell lyrics sung by a caterwauling red-haired pansy please!
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