The Window Seat: Cushy TransLink jobs available, but there's a catch

So would you like a job where you only have to show up six times a year, then once a week if you feel like it, depending on how much you want to get paid?

Then you are TransLink board of directors material.

But you will have to act quickly. Today (August 19) is the last day applications are being accepted from aspirants for the upcoming three vacancies on the TransLink board of directors.

Five lucky hopefuls will be scrutinized by a screening panel for the three positions coming vacant on the nine-member board. Perks include a base salary of about $25,000 (add $8,000 if you chair a committee) and $1,200 for each of the 50 or so weekly meetings you wish to attend (other than the full board meetings held every two months, for which, presumably, you are expected to show up).

But do you have the right stuff to be a TransLink board member?

An ad that ran in local papers recently listed some of the qualifications TransLink is looking for. It seeks candidates with “a strong reputation within their respective professions, careers or communities and impeccable personal integrity”. (Sorry, Gordo. Oh, right, he’s having buttered scones and “tea” with the Queen’s scullery staff.)

The transportation authority also desires individuals with “a passion for transportation, innovation and customer service” and with “previous board governance experience in a complex organization”.

They should also be “financially literate”. TransLink’s website expands upon the qualifications a bit, indicating a preference for those with “urban transportation expertise”, knowledge of “strategic application of information systems”, and experience with “corporate legal counsel”.

If you are down with “municipal land use planning and public processes”, then get your résumé in today (literally).

Oh, and you must like dressing for success. And if former transportation minister Kevin Falcon should ever pop his head in the door to check up on his baby, say that you are doing just fine. Maybe burp for him. And tell him that you like his hair.

TransLink did omit one qualification, though, perhaps because it might be taken the wrong way: never, under any circumstances, can you have sat in, rode, or even contemplated taking a bus.

Ever.

Anywhere.