The Year in Fear: rating Hollywood's 2012 horror flicks, from killer to crap

I reviewed 17 theatrically released horror flicks in 2012, starting with the ho-hum The Devil Inside in January and ending with the godawful Silent Hill: Revelation 3D in October. Thankfully there were some better ones in between.

The Cabin in the Woods ********** (ten out of 10) "...it’s the best horror flick ever made in Vancouver."

Chronicle ********* (nine out of 10) "Not even the obvious overkill of the climactic, superhero-type showdown is enough to tarnish its winning vibe."

The Woman in Black ******** (eight out of 10) "...creepy enough to recommend to long-suffering horror fans who are due for an old-fashioned respite from the gory, hyperactive shockfests of today."

Sinister ******* (seven out of 10) "...overcomes an iffy script to reel you in with one seriously creepy vibe."

Chernobyl Diaries ****** (six out of 10) "As a scared-shitless fan of the Paranormal Activity films, I had high hopes for Chernobyl Diaries, which is based on a story by PA creator Oren Peli."

Underworld: Awakening ****** (six out of 10) "A gorehound’s wet dream in a bluish palette..."

Donovan's Echo ***** (five out of 10) "The indie flick's heart is in the right place but, unfortunately, its arteries are seriously clogged up with syrupy sappiness."

Paranormal Activity 4 **** (four out of 10) "The fourth entry in the hugely successful film series just can't match the others in the nightmare-making department."

Resident Evil: Retribution **** (four out of 10) "Fourteen-year-old males hooked on violent video games may well get their money's worth from Resident Evil: Retribution, but everybody else is outta luck."

The Devil Inside **** (four out of 10) "...it’s all the same old stuff: bodily contortions, venomous spitting, evil-sounding curses and threats. And, of course, they forget to tie the nasty bitch down properly."

Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter *** (three out of 10) "It's confounding why anyone would put that much effort into something so utterly devoid of value."

The Raven *** (three out of 10) "It’s a woefully misdirected take on the Edgar Allan Poe legend that’s bound to have crazy old Eddie rolling in his grave."

House at the End of the Street *** (three out of 10) "...a clunky, run-of-the-mill horror flick written by the same guy who penned last year’s similarly themed disappointment, Dream House."

Silent Hill: Revelation 3D ** (two out of 10) "...so numbingly awful that you can't blame anyone for holding a grudge against the genre after seeing it."

The Moth Diaries ** (two out of 10) "If you thought the Twilight films were hard to sit through, wait until you get a load of this toothless attempt to cash in on today’s hormone-fuelled vampire craze."

Gone ** (two out of 10) "...by the end of Gone, you’ll be convinced that it’s just a low-rent reworking of The Silence of the Lambs, with Seyfried’s humongous peepers a sad substitute for Jodie Foster’s acting chops."

The Apparition (zero out of 10) "An utterly pointless and inept mashup of Paranormal Activity and Final Destination--with a bit of Ringu thrown in for bad measure..."

You can follow Steve Newton on Twitter at twitter.com/earofnewt.

Comments (2) Add New Comment
Alan McDonald
Paranormal Craptivity scary? Really? The only nightmare I ever had because of the film, was about the money I wasted to get in.
10
12
Rating: -2
Tyler
Alan....the review gave Paranormal 4 stars, so obviously Steve didn't think it was very scary. Read, don't skim.
8
15
Rating: -7
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