I must confess on this Georgia Straight Confessions site that I watched the movie from 2002 called Confessions Of A Dangerous Mind! That is all.
I'm in my early 30s, I've had a fun life and a lot of great experiences. Roller coaster rides to hell and back... through good intentions and bad intentions alike. I've made some mistakes here and there, but I've always been a caring person who puts others before myself. I wish I had been better to some of the women I had relationships with. Things were always good but when it came time to buckle down and commit I would get cold feet and end it. I wish now that I had been thinking about more than myself through those times, I wonder how much pain I might of caused over the years. Now in today's dating climate I find that everyone has commitment issues or some sort and now that I am ready to settle down with someone special, nobody else wants to settle down with me. Go figure eh. Must be some form of karma, which I believe in, and I feel it is fair treatment in return for how I've been. Now I know what it feels like to be a 2nd option and it's not nice. I have a lot of regrets because I know I could of tried a little harder before and I don't even know why Inwas scared to commit. I'm a person who needs to have a connection with someone and I want to love someone. I always have been, but I allowed myself to get caught up and egocentric and now I'm paying the price for my carelessness. I've just come to terms with the fact that I'm one of those guys who falls in the class of being good enough to date and have some fun with, but not someone you'd want to marry. I should of known things would come full circle one day, but maybe I don't deserve any better anyways. That is the problem with us humans... we always figure it out when it's too late because we are greedy and self centred. Go figure huh
Starting from zero in a new city is not as fun or easy as it seems, it's exhausting!
The things I've been through, and I'm still here, amazes me. I've told people this story before and I've gotten responses that it was just a "coincidence" but come on... I was there. That was not a coincidence. After a night of drinking, my friend drove us home. She was sober but we didn't get much sleep and it was a thirty minute drive. I passed out in the passenger seat and I woke up when we were less than five minutes from our homes... I looked over at her and she had fallen asleep at the wheel and was starting to drive off the road. If I hadn't woken up, we would probably be dead. I took control of the wheel and had to wake her up. She obviously just fell asleep. To this day, that car ride gives me chills. And when I start to feel a little hopeless, I remember I am here for a reason and I'm not going to waste it. No matter how many times I have to wake up or get back up.
if someone with a disability tells you about a limitation they have, please for the love of god don't think it's your job to motivate us to "overcome out limitations." I know the awareness of a limitation is abstract and somewhat arbitrary, but our bodies our perfect. our culture's obsession with youth and horrid fear of (our own) death causes a sort of collective denial of morbidity.
ok you've conquered your fear of death. have you conquered your fear of a half life? have you considered letting go of individual faculties while still being forced to live out the rest of your natural life? what about losing independence? you ever thought about how you'd cope with constant pain? when you would decide to end it? what you would do when your fount of hope dries up?
these things happen to every kind of person. our bodies are mortal, and death is a race to the bottom to see which organ system fails first. human beings are capable of incredible healing, but are also very limited. positivist ideology works for those that are doing well but it's also a way of blaming the individual for their body's damage. so please, save your awesome ideology that's helped you just sooooo much. if I wanted to know, I'd ask. thanks.
this has been a disability public service announcement
I wish the people of Vancouver would stop wearing their paranoia on their sleeves. While out having fun it's just fucking so weird for people to incessant about fictional possibilities. Taking over a conversation, through volume is crass and classless to begin with but having a fictional back and dorth about some non existent fear you have that goes immediately into ridiculousness is insane and a waste of everybody's time and energy.
Just fucking relax people, I'm not your fucking psychiatrist, a little self awareness could stop have the pointless shit you routinely go off on.
Energy vampire central
step right up and spin the wheel. round and round it spins. i love you. i hate you. i wish i never met you. we never know which one i'll feel today. none of it even matters because there is no prize, but i can't step away from this game.
You: pretty blond girl who ran the stop sign on west 7th. Me: 50ish guy in the hyundi that did not hit you. But I wish I had, because locking up and skidding did something to my brakes, and now I am facing a repair bill. At least if I had hit you your insurance would have to pay, since I was through traffic and you blew past the stop sign like it was a suggestion, not an instruction. This has nothing to do with the rude gesture you made. It's not like I'm vindictive.
I'm finding it hard to lose weight. The desire is there but the physical motivation is not. I'm kind of an all or nothing person and right now.. well, seems it's nothing. I wish I were a more passionate person who got excited about these kinds of things but instead I worry about what the person on the bench is thinking of me running past them with my flabby ass jiggling around. I'd like to have the mind set of,"what they think doesn't matter" but I'm finding it hard because of how low my self confidence is.
#1 I wish I was in Chicago right now after having left Illinois and never looked back for a long time.
#2 I could find other true blue Cubs fans in this town.
We did it....we finally DID IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I feel so much better ever since I closed my Facebook account. Social media may be good for finding out about events, but it's not reality. Facebook friends are nowhere near real friends. I got fed up of with competitive arrogant vibe of everyone's selfies. The whole "Look at me! Look at me!" attitude is just plain silly. Don't even get me started on requests for pointless crap like farmville or candy crush. So Facebook goodbye good luck and good riddance! May you burn in the 7th layer of hell.
Ok, so isn't the Air B & B commercials self perpetuating that any home owner using this service admits they can't afford to live in a Vancouver home without using their product?
We work together, infrequently, but when we do, there is chemistry. A lot of chemistry. We are both attached to other people. At least, I think you are. The annoying thing is that I just want one night of fiery passionate sex with you, and probably won't ever have that, but you keep showing up in my dreams and it frustrates the hell out of me.
You never realize how alone you are until you realize you went through shit for years and nobody helped you, people around you who could have helped never bothered or even paid enough attention to realize that you were in shit. Thanks assholes. Thanks for leaving it to random strangers to help me through it.
It's been five years since my grandmother passed away, but it still hurts. She was the one person in my family would who call me and ask how I'm doing. It felt so nice to talk to her. I loved her like she was a second mother to me. More so than my own parents. I love my parents, but it's just not quite the same. For some reason, I don't feel that close with anyone else and ever since I lost my grandmother, it feels like there is a huge void in my life. That closeness I had is long gone and can never be the same again. Oh well, life still goes on and at least the positive memories never end. I will not forget you granny. You will always have a special place in my heart.