your posts exhaust me. yet i continue to read like some kind of lunatic. waiting for 4:30 to arrive..
I want someone to love me, but this feels like a lot to ask. Who could?
Regarding relationships I have found that we from both sides complain, man complain about women not been able to just meet a guy to have sex, dress up and leave, and woman complain about men not been able to be the plus 1 for a cousin's wedding; can we just please find some where in the middle?
I have travel all over the world, lost the count of how many men i have slept with after you, i have try distract my mind the past year and a half, and even so have not been able to find someone with who I can connect as with you, I am still waiting for you to forget your prejudice about you been rich and me been working class and show up in my door.
Fuck it's an awesome time to embrace diversity though. Truly be different from all the right wing hate, and in a positive way.
I am shattered and devastated. Discovering your double life has wiped me out. I can't fight anymore. Survival of the Fittest-congrats, you've won.
somehow I think I could be comfortable telling a therapist "i think i can time travel" or "i think i'm a squirrel" but not "I spend 6 hours a day rereading online posts hoping someone who hasn't spoken to me in years is thinking about me". But I can't time travel and I'm not a squirrel.
I broke up with my boyfriend last week because he got violent toward me. That wasn't the first time but it was the worst by far. We have explosive chemistry and have as brutal fights as passionate sex. It's been a matter of hours since we've exchanged messages but the worst part is, I miss him so much that all I want to do is go to his house and fuck the shit out of him and run away together. Problem is, he's abusive and my family and friends would kill me if I went back. I know, I must be insane but I'm completely addicted.
How is it fair that professional photographers on instagram, who stay in the wilderness all day and camp out all night, happen to be the most beautiful and photogenic? I get to take a shower and brush my teeth each day, yet I wake up with acne, bed head, and bad breath..
From time to time I read about how you miss me, how you wish things had turned out differently, how I inspired you to be a better person, how I may not know it but I was actually very important to you, etc. I read these things here or on Craigslist and feel so many mixed emotions since you are not only writing to me but sharing exactly what I want to hear. And then of course I realize 'you' aren't you, and I'm not ever going to hear anything like that because I didn't mean anything to you and I fell for a con.
Now that Stuart McLean has left us. It was so Canadian to sit, sipping Murchie's tea, eating toast, gazing out at the mountains or ocean, listening to his stories. So long, Stuart, Dave and Morley.
social anxiety has ate away at my youth, my beauty and any foundation of a life built on a few friends with a stable career will have to start when most are having babies or moving up in their careers. I don't have the blueprint having hidden away for more than 3 decades of my life but nobody knows how lost i am.
I lost my virginity on Valentine's day when I was 16 to only person I ever loved. We've been broken up for years. I don't dwell on it, Valentine's day is just another day to me and I think if other people that don't like Valentine's day could see it the way I do they would feel better. Just like birthdays and other holidays. It's just a day people. If you're really into it so much, do yourself a favor and love yourself. Self compassion and do something nice for yourself. Don't make it a sad day. You're loved by someone I'm sure whether it's romantic or not. After Valentine's day is when the love really comes. Bring on that discount chocolate, mama hungry.
My ex has been hitting on my best friend over Facebook. Not very classy, but somewhat predictable.
Thank you so much for tuning in to see what I have to say... So what did I learn during the last year you ask? I learned that the people you know will tune you out and ignore you unless you're repeating and echoing the same nonsense everyone else talks about that they picked up from Facebook, the "news" or tv. I also learned that unless you completed a task yourself or were there to witness it, and this applies to everything in life, all you know of it is hear-say or what would be called second hand knowledge... in other words something you hear is just a story until you personally verify it as fact for yourself. I discovered long ago that there is more than meets the eye in this world, way more. In fact so much more that the average person has no concept of such things because they've never even thought about it before thus in their minds it does not exist as even a possibility. I found out that love is conditional. All these people that pat you on the back and refer to you as family will disappear the moment they feel it is dangerous to their reputation to interact with you. Simply voicing your opinion on something that goes against what is commonly believed to be fact amongst most people will be social suicide. I saw that most individuals would rather throw a person under the bus and write them off as an idiot rather than try to understand what it is that that person is really saying if they are indeed saying something considered outlandish. They rationalize their decision to ignore you by labelling you a moron and that way they don't have to come out of their comfort zone to have a discussion with you on something they probably would really rather not bother with. I enjoy being cryptic and like the fact that I choose to learn about topics that most people would be afraid to look into for themselves. I've never felt so alone before but it has brought a lot of clarity to my perspective and I've learned some lessons about myself, mostly, and also the behaviour of others. Maybe you could call this a journal entry but I don't have a journal or a diary or a friend to talk to about these things or anyone else on earth for that matter. I'll just leave it here for me to stumble across one night in the future when I'm wanting to reflect on 2016 and the year that would reveal so much to me about the the hidden metaphysical reality so masterfully hidden right in plain sight that we all take part in every second of every day. Some say that physicality comes before spirituality, but in return I then ask YOU what is consciousness? and why is it that wherever my head goes, my body follows?