posted Thursday, October 30, 2014 at 9:32pm
I read through the confessions and comments from time to time and the ones I find to be the most alarming are the posts and comments that derive from the lower mainland dating scene which results in some pretty harsh gender bashing. Admittedly, it leaves me slightly relieved that I don't actively participating in the dating scene. Not because I have a partner/soul mate/"the one" but just a choice to live my life and finally be at peace with what may come. I consciously decided to undate. What I have observed over the years of being a single entity, so to speak, is that there is too much defensiveness going on in just the most simple day to day social interactions. Two examples, I was on the skytrain a couple of summers ago and it was starting to get pretty toasty in the car so I lightly tapped a younger man to ask him to open the window that he was standing in front of to let some air in. He reacted as though I was going to climb onto him and proceed to dry hump. Another time I was in a coffee line up and made a witty joke to a fellow standing beside me in the line. Again, he reacted as though "gads, not again". Rejected from a quick witty one-liner. It wasn't a come on, I just engaged in sharing a simple laugh with a stranger whilst waiting to get some coffee. This doesn't happen all the time but the tone is often enough for me to ask why? These little random interactions CAN possibly be where it starts. If it doesn't, that shared smile or laugh can make someone's day. I would imagine that it is difficult to approach a person that is attractive to another with nothing to go on. Takes bravery and we don't all have the confidence to take on that challenge. What would be nice is if people would just let it all be and just be nice to one another. Start with that at least. Maybe some people just need a little bit of an organic warm-up, and don't assume that because a person of the opposite sex is being friendly, they want something from you. I know, I know, not everyone behaves accordingly. Live to make yourself happy-nobody is solely going to take care of that for you. And maybe, just maybe, we need to do a little work on the self to find out why our choices are not working out for us. So here it is....both men and women can be "frigid and cold" when communicating face to face when not device to device. Nothing to hide behind. Smile people please and take it easy on each other!